Remember

Here are two poems I wrote in the past to express some of my feelings about September 11, 2001:

Remember me when the day is done

When your laughing heart is free

Remember me when the day begins

The flag flies for liberty

Remember me when you're free to roam

When you can worship where you may

Remember me when you take a stand

And have freedom of speech to say

Remember me when you make a choice

When you kneel down to pray

Remember me when it's not so easy

I died so you could live this way

(September 11, 2002)

The best laid plans fail

The most sacred memories fade

And even with you least expect it

Towers crumble before your eyes

But...

Patriotism with bind souls

Remembrance will sear hearts together

And even though the world is ugly

Love still conquerors all

(September 11, 2006)

Raising Expectations

I have been thinking a lot about the idea of raising expectations. I recently read an article about Brandon Davies returning to BYU after he broke the Honor Code. In the article there was a powerful quote:

Something the late, great tennis start Arthur Ashe used to argue all the time: If you demand more from people, people will rise to meet the higher standards. You can get what you insist upon. So don't sell people's capacity to do the right thing short. People do summon their best selves when it's required of them.

I not only believe in what Arthur Ashe said but I have seen it in my life as well as the livewss of many others. I have a friend who, in his limited spare time, is a personal trainer. I was training to run in a 12 man relay time a few months ago and asked him to help me set up a strenghts training plan. He went to my gym with me a few times to help me figure out how to use the equipment and what worked best for my body. I was amazed at the things he could get me to do. I did more reps, lifted more, had more endurance, and much more flexibility when he was asking for it then I had even been able to do on my own. He had high expectations for me and I rose to them.

People have a way of rising to expectations. There is something in us that wants to succeed. Through the years of working with teenagers I am continually amazed at what happens when expectations are raised and what happens when there is not expectations.

As a young Seminary (religion) Teacher I went to a Church Education System (CES) AKA Seminaries and Institutes training. To this day I remember the way the spirit touched me as to the truth of the words that Elder Eyring was teaching me. In an inspiring talk, "Raising Expectations," Elder Eyring said,

In the days ahead, the Lord will raise the spiritual bar again and again. And our youth will rise higher and higher to more than clear that rising expecation. They will make the choices to receive the promised spiritual outpouring deep in their hearts. Ours sons and daughters will prophesy, and our young men shall see visions. The questions for us are these: Will those young people feel by what we have said and done that we expected it? And with the Lord say tha twe rose to the best we could be an that He expected us to show them how? I have assurance that we will rise to that expectation.

I absolutely love teaching youth/teenagers, in any capacity. I love being an adolescent therapist. I learn so much from the youth I serve and I'm trying to have high expectations for them. In turn, they hold high expectations of me!

I sometimes wonder if I hold high enough expectations for myself? I think it might be time to raise the expectations.

Do You Have A Favorite Emotion?

Over the years I have collected strange favorites. For example I have a favorite English and Japanese word. In English my favorite word is Remember. In Japanese my favorite word is Kigatsuku. My favorite number is 8. My favorite color is purple. My favorite vehicle is a train. the list goes on but you see...most of you probably don't have a favorite vehicle, Japanese word, or even favorite English word.

Lately, I think I've discovered my favorite emotion—and if we are being technical it is actually a secondary emotion. My favorite emotion is anger. It's not my favorite because I feel it often or I like it. It's become my favorite—especially as a an adolescent therapist—because I can do something with that emotion. Anger tells me something about my client. Anger is a motivator. Anger usually brings about some kind of drive, passion, action, etc.

When I am working with clients who are depressed, sad, lethargic, etc. it is hard to motivate them. It is difficult to get to the root of the problem and it is hard to help them to make needed changes in their lives.

Don't get me wrong anger, because it is a secondary emotion, covers up the actual emotions you are feeling or trying to express. However, bring on the anger because then we can talk about the real underlying emotion. Bring on the anger because then maybe you actually cry or punch something or deal with your emotions. Bring on the anger because then you begin to be honest and get into a healthy emotional place.

I'd rather be angry any day over feeling reject, depressed, or forgotten

I FINISHED MY BOOK!!!

I FINISHED MY BOOK!! I can now say I have written a 194 page book!! I printed out my first complete copy tonight at 9:27 PM August 20, 2011. It is an incredible feeling to finally be done and to have accomplished one my life goals! Thank you to everyone who helped in some capacity to make this happen!

Tender Mercies

While watching a movie recently a line stuck out to me. It said, " When God has something to teach me He usually provides a teacher." I LOVE that and it is so true in my life.

For a long time I have been struggling for the right job, the right place to live, the right guy to date, and so forth. I have been happy but struggling with what direction(s) to take with my life. I thought that once I got my Masters degree I would go out and get a big girl job and move forward. What I go instead was lots of bills to pay, rent, complications, looking for a job where I can use my degree, and so forth. I ended up working at a job where I make the same money I did before I went to grad school. Let's just say things in my life weren't looking so great. I had faith that things would work out but was feeling sorry for myself.

Then came the testing. I felt like the Lord just kept closing door after door in my life and I was desperate to find an open window. Then I discovered Anasazi and applied for a job. When I got the job I found my window and jumped through it. I had no idea the joy that would await me or the tender mercies the Lord had in store for me. I had lessons to learn and God was providing me a teacher.

Now I have been working for Anasazi for a few months, I am learning so much, I met a wonderful guy who treats me like a queen, and I can't believe how happy I am. Both the job and the guy may be leaving my life very soon. The job is only a summer contract job and the guy is leaving the state for education. While I will be devastated at the loss of either of them I can't help but smile at what the Lord has placed in my life. I am better because of both!

And so as I embark on possibly losing them both I hope I have enough faith and trust in the Creator to understand and appreciate the blessings in my life. Truly God has given me tender mercies!

You know you have been single for a long time when...

• You no longer sneak into the movie theater when the lights are out so that no one can see that you came alone.
• You stop spreading out your purse, jacket, etc. all over the chairs around you at a restaurant to look like someone will be joining you
• You go to a wedding reception alone, compliment the groom's (close friend from my Boston days) mother on how beautiful her yard looks, and she looks around and asks,

Groom's Mother: "So who are you here with?"

Me: "No one, I am here alone."

Groom's Mother: "oh, well that was brave!"

Any more....

Sometimes...

Sometimes I find myself just wanting to say my brother's name out loud—Grant, Granty, Grant Marcus

Sometimes I miss him something fierce. His skinny long legs, his never ending questions, his annoying bugging, and his sweet, sweet hugs

Sometimes I catch myself thinking of how old he would be today and try as I might I can't picture him. I can only see him as a scrawny 15 year old boy

Sometimes I want to tell someone about him just to talk about him—to acknowledge his existence, but how do you do that. How do you talk to someone about that

Sometimes I hear a song, watch a movie, see a boy, and it almost feels like the wind is being knocked out of my chest. I am surprised at how fast I am back laughing with Grant or watching him stand like a flamingo in front of the TV

Always I am grateful he is my brother for eternity

Wind & The Sacred Wind

I spend the last 4 days living in the Wilderness. I was a Trail Walker and I was on a Rabbit Stick Walking with Anasazi. It was amazing! It was hot, cold, and nats ate us alive. We hiked, cooked food off a propane stove, and slept on the ground. Many things happened that just can't be explained but there was one thing I would like to share.

At Anasazi we talk about something called the Sacred Wind or in other words you may call it the Spirit. I love talking about, listening to, and learning from the Sacred Wind.

This week out in the desert there were SO MANY nats out it was crazy beans. I mean it when I say that we were eaten alive. I came home with about 75 nat bites all in the area of about 3 inches from my wrists up, a few on my face, about 15 on my neck and collar bone area, and a few more on my legs. This is minimum compared to most. I wore a light bright green scarf around my face shoulders and neck, sort of like a hijab, almost every minute. It was hot and sometimes hard to breath but I am so glad b/c it really saved me. some of the TW were just covered in nat bites, some had swollen eyes, and they looked like they had either super bad acne or chicken pox.

One night there was this amazing wind that came through my camp throughout the night and it was so amazing and needed. Every time the wind would blow through our camp it would take the nats with it. So I would pray that the wind would come and give us some reprieve. As I was praying and hoping for the wind to come I couldn't help compare it to the Sacred Wind.

When I feel the spirit or when it touches my heart it is such a reprieve, it brings peace and direction in my life. It also helps me to steer clear of the nats. As I sat there feeling the wind on my hot itchy skin I was so grateful. I was grateful for the cool wind and for the gift of the Sacred Wind in my life.

I LOVE my job!

My amazing sister, Chelsea, recently wrote a great blog about jobs. She writes about her idea of a "Utopian ideology" where everyone would be able to work at jobs they love and are passionate about. Not only would they get to work at these jobs but they would get paid and love what they do.

Being a social worker I can't tell you how many times people have said to me, "I am so glad you do what you do because..." then they say things like "I could never do that", or "you really don't get paid enough" or "I couldn't do it because I need to make more money." I don't spend too much time thinking about how little money I make since I knew what I was getting myself into.

However, I do spend a LOT of time trying to figure out why there is so much drama, red tape, bureaucracy, and incompetent people. I can't understand why some programs are run so ineffectual. When I'm in a job like this I can't help but think—sometimes—about how little I get paid to jump through hoops.

Then I come across a job like being a Shadow at Anasazi and I can't imagine myself doing anything else. I absolutely LOVE my job. I love every annoying aspect of the red tape, the training, the lack of space, the new people, figuring out the computers, phones, etc. I love the monotony of policies and procedures, trying to figure out where I fit in in the big non-profit, and the fact that I will, yet again, make little to no money.

I find myself over and over again thinking...I am actually getting paid to:

• walk in the wilderness
• learn to survive primitively
• have an outdoor office where I sit on a blanket and do a session with an adolescent
• spend the entire day sharing "seeds of greatness" (strengths) with adolescents
• work with amazing co-workers who are passionate about the outdoors, living in a way that is an example to youth, and come from amazing backgrounds with even more amazing stories to tell
• be part of an amazing legacy
• and so much more...

Only when I realize I need to pay bills or I need to fill my gas tank do I stop to remember that I am barely making ends meet. I can handle this though b/c the pay off for having a job that I adore, and feel like is home, makes up the difference.

And so as I embark on this new adventure I just wanted to say that I am truly grateful for my new job, the journey it has taken me to get here, and for the lessons I am learning and will continue to learn.

Burn The Ships

Tomorrow I start a new job! I am really nervous b/c the training for this job takes me out in the field trail walking for multiple days in a row w/ really nothing but my shirt of my back. Part of me is prepared (remember my summer job on the Apache Reservation) and excited and the other part of me is nervous and concerned (I think I may be a bit to old for this??).

Taking this summer job has been a step of faith for me. Yesterday was my last day at the job I've been working at for the past year. I have known for a while that I need a new job, a more challenging situation, and a job that would pay me more money. I have been looking for a clinical job for over a year now. Things just haven't worked out.

Many times I have been tempted to just forget the whole social work thing and just find another job that is closer to where I live and pays more money. But then I think of the 2 years I spent on my Masters degree, all the opportunities that have led me to where I am, and most importantly how much I love being a clinician with adolescents.

So I made a decision and I decided to "burn the ships" and forge ahead. In his book, Leadership, Sterling R. Sill talks about the idea of burning ships. He writes,

When Caesar went to capture Britain, he first landed him men and then unloaded his supplies. Then in the night he sent out men and burned the ships in which they had come. Then death was the only Roman alternative to victory. Under such circumstances most men fight with a vigor that never knows defeat.

I want to be a great therapist so I can't settle for some job that doesn't utilize my abilities or where there is not room to grow or progress. If that means I quit a full time job, with benefits, and security to go be a clinician with the same pay, no benefits, and only for the summer—then so be it. I choose to move forward and burn the ships. There is no way for me to go back now all I can do is move forward.

I am nervous and excited to begin this new adventure with the Anasazi Foundation and have faith that when the summer is over things will work out the way they should!

Do You Have To Do It To Help Somebody Get Through It?

Today at work I was having a conversation with a coworker. He was saying that he wanted to be a substance abuse counselor someday in the future. He went on to say that he didn't think someone could be effective at helping kids overcome substance abuse if they hadn't done drugs themselves. He went on to say that he thought the best Licence Substance Abuse Counselors (LISAC) he'd ever seen help kids were the ones who were the worst drug addicts when they were younger. I listened to him explain and shared a few of my thoughts.

What do you think? Do you have to do something or be something in order to help someone? Can a single person be an effective marriage counselor? Can you help kids with substance abuse if you've never done drugs yourself? I am very interested in what you think so please comment!

Grateful

Some of the reasons I'm grateful:

The other day I sent my Dad a text:

I need some guidance dad.

I feel a bit lost in my life.

Things aren't too bad I just need a plan.

He called me back and told me I could move home into the extra bedroom. I laughed—which was much better than crying because my dad seems to know exactly what to say. I told him I couldn't move home b/c I'm 31 and people just don't do that. He told me he figured I'd say that and that I would realize things could be much worse. He was right, I was left smiling, and once again Father knows best! This experience is just one of the many reasons I adore and am grateful for my Dad!

I swap shifts with a coworker so I wasn't with my students for two days. Upon returning one of my ragamuffins told me that he missed my meanness! I'll take it! He missed me and for a moment being missed really mattered. I am grateful for being missed!

Along the same vein I left work the other night and notice a note in my purse. I opened and read it and got a little teary-eyed (no I did not cry). It was from an intern who just wanted to let me know that they noticed the difference I make. The validation couldn't have come at a more needed time. I am grateful for people who validate!

I am in the process of sending my book manuscript to publishers. In the wake of things my family has gotten excited and volunteered their services. My mom, a bit worried about my frequent spelling errors, volunteered to be my human spell check and two of my sisters wanted to read a few chapters and give some feedback. I am grateful for a loving and supportive family!

Whenever my roommate comes home she plops herself at the end of my bed, on my desk chair, or on the floor and she shares all the days dealings. I love these moments and know I will theses days in the future. I am grateful for someone who loves me enough to share their life, the exciting things, the drama, and the mundane.

I am sure there are many more things but for now I am just wanted to share my grateful heart!

Faith and Patience

I am trying to have faith—to believe that God has a plan. At times I think I'm failing and then the Lord gives me a tender mercy/validation that I'm on the right path.

In an earlier post I talked about being reject by a wonderful non-profit for a clinician position and at the same time being offered a different position. What I didn't mention is that the job required me to work on Sundays. This isn't an issue for everyone but for me I struggled a bit. The job offered wasn't the best hours but the pay was significantly greatly than I make now and I would have one clinical day a week to work with clients and get clinical experience. I would also be supervising 8-9 people and gain much needed supervision experience.

I talked to many people about whether or not to take this job and everyone had sage advice. The job was offered Wednesday. On Friday I decided I would let the HR know that I'm interested in the job but wouldn't be able to work on Sundays due to previous religious comittments. They responded positively and said they were working out bugs in the schedule and would let me know by the end of next week what they decided.

So I had a questions and prayers in my heart as I headed into General Conference, a broadcast every 6 months where the Prophet speaks to the members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It didn't take long for the Lord to reassure my heart and my decision about working on Sunday. The very first Conference talk, The Sabbath and the Sacrament, was about keeping the Sabbath (Sunday) day holy and the importance of Sundays. I know that talk was for everyone in the church but I also know that talk was for ME!

Today I got a call from the wonderful non-profit and they let me know that they gave the job to someone who was willing to work Sundays. They were kind to me and told me to keep in touch and that they would for sure let me know if they have a clinician spot that opens up. I thanked them for their time and hung up. Once off the phone I had mixed emotions. I feel like I made the right choice, and that the Lord validated my choice, but sometimes it is difficult to have faith and be patient.

Turning Point

My roommates and I were watching conference together and afterward there was a show called Turning Point that came on BYUTV. We were immediately drawn in by the cinematography, music, and curious about where the show was going. So—we just kept right on watching, crying, and loving every minute of the great 1 hr show.

I hope if you are reading this you take 1 hour out of your busy life and watch this amazing show about 2 different turning points in peoples lives and how those turning points changed and continues to change the lives of so many others.

I think this documentary touched my heart so much because it spoke to my soul. I am passionate about adoption and believe in the power of love. I also work with kids, though not wheelchair bound, who are broken on the inside even though they may look okay on the outside. Like the "Eagle Eye" children, broken on the outside but intelligent on the inside, the kids I work with need a lot of love, patience, and someone to help them learn how to deal with their emotions.

I love how this documentary was filmed. My roommates and I were on pins and needles waiting to see what was going to happen next. I just sat and watched pure goodness and my eyes got a bit leaking. I hope you enjoy!

Rejected

In a matter of a few weeks I have been rejected from three jobs all of which I made it to the last round of interviews. One rejection came in the form of a mailed letter. Another came in the form of an email. The lastest one (today), and my favorite kind, came face to face.

The first two rejections said they decided to hire someone with more experience. bummer. Today I went in for a second round interview. The weirdest thing happened. The interviewer (CEO of the Non Profit) told me something like this: We have good and bad news. The bad news is we hired a clinician about 1 hour ago. She previously worked here, was trying to spread her wings, but decided to come back. We were planning on hiring you as of 2 hours ago. You can imagine I was wondering what the good new would be....Come to find out they had another position (non clinical) that they were offering me to consider. Wow! That was not expected.

Regardless of how things turn out I have been thinking a lot today about the effects of rejection. Does rejection make you stronger? Does it bring out the best in you--the will to work harder and prove others wrong? Does it crumple you? Does it make you nit-pick at yourself?

How do you deal with rejection??

Validation

I haven't shared this video in a long time so it's due. The reason for sharing this life-altering-perspective-changing video was something that happened at work today.

I was swinging next a girl in the class that I'm a TA for at my job. A couple kids came up complaining of this or that while I was on the swing. After a few moments in silence she said, "Ms. Kylee you are good at that." I smiled and said, "Good at what?" She said, "You hardly say anything at all but you listen and then when you do speak it matters and it makes a difference."

Wow! I have to tell you folks that I really needed to hear that today! I needed to hear that what I was doing mattered to someone else. She made my day and again I was reminded at much validation matters!

Find The Best

Just in case you missed it in my last post I started a new blog, Find The Best, all about books, writing, and all kinds of literature stuff. Come over and check it out!

What Have I Been Doing?

Lately I have been reading a LOT. I have been reading books I've borrow, bought, or received as gifts and have been sitting on my shelves for a long time. I think now that I'm almost a year past Grad School I am ready to dive back into the world of reading for pleasure! In particular I have been reading a lot of ARC's lately that I got for free when I went to an ALA Conference in San, Diego. If you have never heard of an Advance Reading Copy (ARC) before no worries I am hear to tell you about them.

What is an ARC?

An ARC is basically a almost published version of a book that a publisher gives out for free to start buzz, get reviews, etc. They often change cover art, edit a few things, but mostly when you read an ARC not much changes once it is published. If you want information about ARC's from a few other sources you can find them here and here.

What is a Galley?

While I knew what an ARC was before I went to the ALA Conference I had never hear of a galley before. Galley's are basically ARC's but they are digital. Often publishers will have these postcards with their upcoming books on them and how you can read a digital copy of that book. You can learn more about book galleys here.

How do I get an ARC?

There are a lot of different ways to get ARCs or Galleys. You can get to know an author and then ask them for an ARC/Galley of their upcoming book. You can get to know a publisher and ask them the same. You can go to Book Fairs, Book Conferences, ALA, etc. and you are bound to come home with more books than you ever imagined. You can find good information about getting ARCs here. You can find book ARCs/Galleys here.

In reading all kinds of books lately I decided that I want a place where I can talk about them. I also want to give some of my thoughts as review, start some dialogues, and so forth. Because of this I have started a new blog called: Find The Best. If you are interested in what I'm reading, writing, or reviewing come take a look.

Integrity

I got rejected from both of the jobs I have been in the process of applying for for months. The first rejection (job #1—the job I wanted the most) came in the form of an email. The second (job #2) came in the form of a rejection form letter in the mail. While I am sad I didn't get offered either of these jobs something else about the rejection process has been weighing on my mind.

At the end of my second interview with job #2 the interviewer told me that they would let me know on Friday (exactly a week from that day) either way about the job. I thanked them and fully expected to hear from them in a week.

At the end of my interview with job #1 they told me they didn't know exactly when they would let me know but that it would be soon and they would tell me either way.

By the time Monday (10 days later) I hadn't heard back from either job. I wasn't so concerned with job #1 since they hadn't given me a specific time but I was bothered that I hadn't heard from job #2. In this day and age there a so many ways to contact someone and tell them you are running behind, you need to finish some interviews, etc.

Then comes today. At the end of my work day I check my email to find job #1 rejection email. I was disappointed after the interview process that I received an email instead of a phone call but I guess that is the way things goes.

Already dealing with bad news I decided to call job #2 to follow up. I called, they told me the decision hadn't been made, and for the next few hours I had some hope. I got home, got the mail, and received my next form letter rejection—wait, what? Didn't they just tell me a few hours ago that they hadn't made a decision? They lied to me!

And so we come full circle. What happened to the days of personally talking to people. What happen to the days of your word being your bond. What happened to integrity in the office. I'm disappointed in people who say one thing but don't follow through. I hope I do a better job in my professional and personal life!

Only Temporary

I got a tattoo—of course it is henna and only temporary. I had wanted to get a henna tattoo for a while. I picked out a simple design, paid my money, and waited for my turn for the medieval gypsy to work her magic. When I sat down and show her the picture I chose I could tell she was disappointed and she asked, "can I make it a bit more swirly?" to which I responded okay.

Turns out this tattoo is nothing like the simple picture I had chosen. She set out with a picture framework and then she went to work using her creativity and imagination and the tattoo I ended up with was nothing like the one I imagined. (good thing it is just temporary).

This tattoo experience is indicative of my life. Many times I have set out with a ideal frame work that I think is simple and fits me and the Lord has other plans (good thing it is only temporary!)

Faith Like Dust

I am a questions girl. I ask them, I think them, they often trouble my mind and heart. I find that the asking of questions isn't the problem. When I ask questions they lead me on a quest or great adventure to find answers—some I expect—and some that are greatly unexpected.

Although I love my desire to understand at times I wish I were more like nature. I desire to have faith like the dust, mountains, and the waters. They know Gods voice and obey! In the scriptures it says,

8For behold, the dust of the earth moveth hither and thither, to the dividing asunder, at the command of our great and everlasting God.

9Yea, behold at his ^avoice do the hills and the mountains tremble and ^bquake.

10And by the ^apower of his voice they are broken up, and become smooth, yea, even like unto a valley.

11Yea, by the power of his voice doth the ^awhole earth shake;

12Yea, by the power of his voice, do the foundations rock, even to the very center.

13Yea, and if he say unto the earth—Move—it is moved.

14Yea, if he say unto the ^aearth—Thou shalt ^bgo back, that it^clengthen out the day for many hours—it is done;

15And thus, according to his word the ^aearth goeth back, and it appeareth unto man that the ^bsun standeth still; yea, and behold, this is so; for surely it is the earth that moveth and not the sun.

16And behold, also, if he say unto the ^awaters of the great deep—^bBe thou dried up—it is done.

17Behold, if he say unto this mountain—Be thou raised up, and^acome over and fall upon that city, that it be buried up—behold it is done (Helaman 12:8-17.)

If I had faith like dust I know the Lord could do more with me. I find myself lately often thinking of a faith fill phrase of a loving father, "Lord, I believe. Help Thou mine unbelief (Mark 9:24.)

He Knows the Desires Of My Heart

I have been thinking a lot lately about sign language. Up until I moved to Arizona I have been blessed to be able to use my ASL wherever I have been. I know that is because the Lord has brought people into my life or placed me in circumstances where I can you that language I love. So He knows that I have a desire currently to find a connection to the Deaf community.

The other night while I was at a Relief Society Meeting a woman in the ward called me over to talk with her. She told me that she had 4 deaf people at her house over the weekend and many times she thought of inviting me over to practice my ASL but then she got busy and forgot.

When I first heard this my heart was sad. I wished she had heeded the prompting to invite me over. Then, quietly and calmly, I felt a sense of love fill my soul as I walked away from her. I felt the spirit testify that God loves me and He knows the desires of my heart. Even though she didn't call me over to her house she let me know she thought of me and my ability to sign. That was enough.

Walking For a Wonderful Cause

Dear Family & Friends

On March 19, 2011, I will participate in the Liver Life Walk to raise funds for the work of the American Liver Foundation – the nation’s leading nonprofit organization dedicated to liver health and disease prevention. I have joined the Donor Network of Arizona, and my personal goal is to raise more than $150.00 for this worthy cause.

A few years ago my Father ran the Boston Marathon for the Liver Foundation and I loved being a part of his journey. Also when my little brother died he was a donor and changed lives. I believe in this cause with a passion and hope you will support me!

Liver disease is often unknown or misunderstood. Here are some compelling statistics:

• 1 out of every 10 Americans is affected by about 100 types of liver disease.
• That is 30 million people — the number of people in the United States living with diabetes and cancer combined, and the same number of people who live in America’s 15 largest cities.
• 60% of the 26,000 people who die each year from cirrhosis have no history of alcohol abuse.
• Nearly 17,000 people are on the waiting list for a liver transplant.

The American Liver Foundation (ALF) is dedicated to a future where there are effective treatments, cures, and no one dies waiting for a liver transplant. The ALF mission is to facilitate, advocate and promote education, support and research for the prevention, treatment and cure of liver disease.

You can support my efforts by making a tax-deductible contribution to the American Liver Foundation:

Donate online at My Personal Donation Page

If you would like to do more, you can also join our team and set a fundraising goal for yourself. You can register today by visiting www.liverfoundation.org/walk and following the prompts to register for the Phoenix, AZ walk on the Team Donor Network of Arizona. When you register, you will receive valuable fundraising tools and information from the American Liver Foundation, in addition to your own personal fundraising Web site.

With your help, we will fund important work and raise awareness of these diseases that afflict millions of people. If you have questions about the Liver Life Walk or the work of the American Liver Foundation, please do not hesitate to contact me. Thank you in advance for your support!

Sincerely, Kylee Shields

My "Jack of All Trades, King of None" Life

I have 29 books on my shelf (literally on the top shelf of my three-shelf-bookcase) that I want to read and 42 others (all ARCs/Galleys) that I may or may not get to. I am currently three books—well, actually four if you include the Book of Mormon—which I do—since I'm reading it. Then there are 3 or 4 books that I NEED to read again b/c my life is better when I reread them. ("Tuesdays With Morrie," "Making Loss Matter," "Letters To A Young Poet," & "To Draw Closer to God")

I have a ton of blogs I need to catch up on, a bazillion others I want to read and research, my blog—which I have completely neglected, and a poetry blog that I am determined to write on much more in the near future.

I have a piano that I adore but with whom I don't nearly spend enough time. I need to write some new music and I need to schedule another music night soon.

I haven't done anything with my sign language in the last two years and I feel a strong desire to change that.

I recently finished my first draft of my first book and am relieved. I need to take a break from it so I can remember how much I love it and the principles inside.

I have a family I adore and can't get enought of, a niece who is growing up way too fast across the country, and parents who I could never, even if I truly tried, tell them how much their support, love, and prayers are felt in my life.

I have an amazing best friend who makes me laugh, listens, and calms my soul. He is a delight in my life and I'm pretty sure I finagled something up in Heaven so that he could be in my life right now.

I have roommates that I struggle with and roommates that I adore and I'm sure they feel the same way about me. I wish I could do more for them but I guess we will just take it one day at a time.

I have a job I love but hate. I love the job but hate the pay and location. I am hoping to change both of those, and my job, soon.

If you made it this far, wow! Most likely if you did, you know me, and so you know that I'm passionate about life. Being a passionate person, mixed with a whole lot of ADHD, a dash of full blown independence, and a hint of feminism, makes for a mess. I will say this though, I LOVE my mess of a life and can't wait to see what the future holds in store!

Happy Birthday Blog!

Today is this blog's 5th Birthday! Wahoo! Also, 10 years ago today, January 31, 2011, I entered the MTC to serve my mission for the LDS Church

Finished First (rough) Draft

I have been pretty non-existent in the blogging world but it has been for a very great reason. I have been writing a book for about 4 years (I dont really count the 2 years I was in Grad School) and I Finally FINISHED my first rough (very rough) draft. This has been a huge journey and a labor of love. I'm glad I finished this goal but more than that I'm so grateful for the opportunity I've had to put this book together.

I need to thank everyone I interviewed, talked with at parties, argued with, and sat and discussed ideas on couches and kitchens. Thank you to those who read my blog, gave me feedback, and endured my focus groups. I need to thank those who inspired stories, ideas, and to those who believed in me along the way. I need to thank my amazing MOM who loved the ideas of this book from the beginning and kept me moving forward. I need to thank Jodi, Alycesun, Catherine, Daniel, and Brandon (sorry if I forgot anyone) who read, edited, and let me know what they thought of things I wrote along the way.

Animated Sidekicks

I realized something new about myself. I was putting together a sort of whimsical Christmas Wish List and I realized that I pretty much love animated sidekicks. Who knew--I know it's weird but oh well!

Christmas Wish List:

--Little yellow dude from "Despicable Me"

--Little green lizard from "Tangled"

--A pet dragon from "How to Train Your Dragon"

--A little green Mike from "Toy Story"

--An awesome & hot boyfriend

Some of the sidekicks I adore:

"How To Train Your Dragon" has a very small but deadly dragon named The Terrible Terror

"Tangled" has a little chameleon lizard named Pascal

"Mulan" has Mushu

"Despicable Me" has yellow minions

"Toy Story 2" has the little green aliens

"Cinderella" has mice-mice

"The Little Mermaid" has Sebastian

All She Needed Was Some Carpet

Here is Little E scooting!

Chelsea & Eden Come To Arizona!!