Family Friday: Kati

Kaitlin Shields

My sister Kaitlin & I share something in common in our family. I'm the oldest of the kids but she is the "oldest" of the 2nd half of our family. Kaitlin is adventures, fun, loving, talented, and loyal. It was so good to be able to hang out with her recently as she checked SDSU-the college she is going to next in the Fall. I love me some Kati-bugs!

• Kaitlin has a hear of gold
• She is one good sister
• She is an amazing and loyal friend
• I love Kaitlin & Alexa's friendship!
• Kati is one good dancer!
• Kaitlin has a bit of a rebellious side (I love it!)
• She is educated, wants to be politically involved, and is a smarty pants
• She is so fun to be around and keeps me laughing
• I left home a long time ago but from what I can tell she has done an excellent job of being the "oldest" kid in the house.
• Kaitlin is kind and crazy and that makes a great mix

I'm so excited that Kaitlin is going to SDSU and that it's only 6 hours away from me. That means many more road trips to San Diego to see her and get to know her better! I love ya Kates and I wish you the best with the end of your senior year. You have a lot of adventure, excitement, heart ache, stress, and lots of joy headed your way in the future. I can't wait to watch it happen!

Enabler

To go along with my last post I wonder what you would call someone that helps make another person's dreams/goal come to fruition.  A dream enabler??  A goal enabler?  Or just an Enabler??

As you all know I recently adopted a piano, a life long dream and goal. This was accomplished through a friend--he saw need (desire) & a way to fulfill it. He then made it happen. He enabled (with a few other key players) me to accomplish a goal and life dream!

I want to be more like that. I want to be an enabler to people in my life. I want them to not only know but to feel like I champion their goals and dream. That I'm a not just a cheerleader to their success but that I'm here to help them accomplish their dreams/goals.

I want to be a better enabler!

Social Enabler

Recently I talked to a good friend of mine. He lives in Boston and was catching up on the who is who and that what's what of our friends. In the conversation he called me a social enabler. He said that around the same time I moved so did a few other key social enablers and so things just aren't the same.

I've thought a lot about that concept--being a social enabler. I like it. He described it as someone who comes up with a idea and then just invites people (creates a social scene) to whatever they are doing. 

It's hard to be a social enabler when you don't know a lot of people, when you are new to a place, or when most of your time is consumed (all of which happens to be my life here in AZ.) I think that is why it has taken me so long to warm up to Arizona. I miss being a social enabler or being a part of other social enablers.

She's 100 Years Old!!

So I decided that I needed to know a little bit more about my newly adopted piano. So I did some investigative work. Did you know that there's a bluebook for pianos?? Seriously. So I had to dig around a bit but discovered that Ella Mae Wurlitzer was born in 1909. Yes, friends she was built a long time ago and is 100 years old this year!

Introducing...

Ella Mae Wurlitzer!  Isn't she one beautiful baby--Baby Grand that is!!!

All joking aside I adopted this beautiful Wurlitzer Baby Grand today and I'm so happy that she is safe and sound in my house.  She needs to be tuned and a few adjustments but overall she is gorgeous!

The adoption of this piano is a tender mercy!  My friend's grandma (Ella Mae Thomsa aka Gwa) recently passed away and they were trying to figure out what to do with her baby grand. My friends knew I loved music and playing the piano so he talked to his mom (Ella Mae's daughter) and they asked me if I wanted her. I couldn't believe it! OF COURSE!!!

The piano is old but loved and needs a little work but I think she makes a great addition to our home! We will be having a big music night/open house to introduce Ella Mae to everyone. So stay tune ( ha ha) for that!

Stay Tuned....

I am in the process of adopting a baby!

Family Friday: Dani

Danielle Shields Tvetan

It's that time again for family Friday! I'm excited to highlight yet another amazing member of my family. My sister Danielle is hilarious! I absolutely love her blog! She was the second to get married and lives in the freezing state of Idaho--where she and her husband Kevin are going to school.

Danielle is so much fun to be around and she is so funny! I find myself just laughing all the time when I'm with her, read about her life, or talk to her on the phone. I really appreciate that about her. There's a lot of other things I love about her:

• She is passionate about her religion and beliefs.
• She is great to her husband.
• She is a brilliant designer. Check her out here, & here.
• She is so good with children and loves her church calling working with the little tikes in Nursery.
• She has the greatest sense of humor and she is hilarious. No one makes me laugh like you Danielle (except sometimes Ali)
• She had a great sense of fashion (I missed that lesson in Heaven).
• Danielle is such a fast learner. There once was a time I actually taught her how to make a blog and so forth but now she far exceeds my limited technical abilities.
• She, like my mom & Chelsea, loves all things "People", movie stars, singers, and basically entertainers.
• She is a great friend. She even introduced her best friend (& her 2 siblings) to the LDS faith and they were all 3 baptized.
• Another thing I love about Dani is that she has a kind heart. She looks out for those who are struggling, the lonely, the misfits, and truly does her part to make them feel loved and a part of something. I love that about her!
• I love that she has an old Polaroid camera. She loves that thing and takes some incredible pics with it.

There are many things I love about you Dans! I love the fun videos and photos you post, the fact that I can just call you up and chat, your funny stories, and the fact that I get a front row seat the amazing things (changes) soon to be happening in your life!

Gaps in the System

Lately I've been thinking of gaps in certain systems/programs. Sometimes gaps create problems but sometimes they create opportunities.  Here's two examples of what I'm talking about:

1. Yesterday I found out that one of my classmates (she is also my friend) got pregnant at the age of 17, had her healthy baby boy, and then gave him up for adoption. She has an open adoption so now that it has been 6 years she recently met him at the park with his parents. She is so proud of him and her decision. Since I love all things adoption related I asked her if it would be okay to ask her more questions. She readily agreed. I asked her about the father, how she picked the adoptive parents, how she felt being pregnant, how her parents reacted, and of course how she dealt with her feeling after the adoption.

 I asked my friend if she had any counseling or help to get through the depression and emotions of giving up her child. She said the doctor gave her prozac but that she just felt like a zombie for days. She wished she could have had someone who understood what she was going through to talk to her. This is one of the gaps I have been thinking about.

2. Being a returned missionary myself I feel like I have somewhat of an "insider's scoop". I know what it was like to wait for my mission call, to enter the MTC, to teach in a foreign language, to serve in "God's Army", and to come home and try to "fit in" with the rest of the world.

The church puts a lot of time, money, and effort into the  Missionary Training Center (MTC). Preparing missionaries is a big deal. I didn't think much about the the coming part until I was that missionary. I feel like I made the transition back fine but know many who didn't. This is another of the gaps I've been thinking about.

I don't have any grandiose ideas but in both situations I feel like it just makes sense to close the loop. It makes sense to me to connect young teenage mothers who decided to give their baby up for adoption to older women who have done the same things successfully.  It makes sense to me that if you spend a lot of time preparing someone to serve a mission that you would spend a lot of time helping them come home.  There are so many return missionaries--and they each have unique stories and experiences but I wonder if we couldn't bridge the gap a little if we connect the RM's with the pre-missionaries!

I have some ideas of how to capitalize on these and other gaps and maybe one day they will come to fruition!

30th Wedding Anniversary!

My parent's anniversary was much better this year. Mostly because everyone remember it! Last year everyone (including my parents) forgot it was their anniversary (that day). So we all made up for it this year by remembering!

30 years of marriage is no small deal these days folks! That and the fact that my parents still look so young is amazing!  Some times I can't believe how much they have to put up with having 8 children (and none of us are quiet and demur by any stretch of the imagination!)

My sister Danielle shares a hilarious story of my mom.

My parents have always opened their arms, hearts, and homes, to everyone who needed a place to feel loved and I'm so grateful for that!  They are great examples to me and my siblings of what it means to love and sacrifice and put the Lord first!

I love you mom & Dad!  Happy 30th Anniversary!

San Diego

My sister Kaitlin got accepted at SDSU so my mom, her, & my other sister Alexa decided to take a road trip and check out the school. I decided to join them. Can't miss an opportunity to go to San Diego!

(thanks Kate & Al for coming down to the "pond" with me)

The school is amazing and everyone left feeling better about Kati's situation than when we got there!

I had a blast with my sistas, my mom, & staying at my aunt & uncle's amazingly beautiful house!

Shaun Barrowes sings @ Cafe Boa in Phx!

Becky, Kylee, & Mo-Mo

The great & amazing Shaun Barrowes

Stacie, Scottie, Becky, & Miranda

Family Friday: Kevin

Kevin Raymond Tvetan

As you can see from the picture above Kevin puts up with a lot being the newest member of the family. He takes it and keeps coming back for more so we decided to keep him around. All joking aside my family is so blessed to have another amazing man to add to this family or females.  

I admit that I  have a lot more to learn about Kevin being as we have not lived in the same state ever, I rarely get to see or talk to him, and he's still the newbie in the fam. However there are few things I do know about him:

• He loves my sister (and that is enough for me)!
• He likes to golf (sorry you married into a golfless family)
• He is great at fixing things (and my family takes plenty advantage of those skills)
• He is really smart and spend the better half of his life these days studying for his Biology major and wants to go to Pharmacy School in the near future
• He loves kids and is great with them--especially in his calling in the nursery
• He loves to talk to dad about the truck
• He works hard for his money
• Kevin is a joy to be around and he had been a tender mercy in my life many times

Kevin I'm so glad you are a part of our family! I love watching you learn and grow and can't wait for you to make your goals and dreams come true. 

CREATE

When I see a blank canvas I cringe.  When I'm presented with the opportunity to cook a meal for multiple people (besides my "go to" Lemon Salmon) I panic. If I'm invited to a friend's house or an Enrichment activity to make/create/cut/paste/paint/color/draw anything without a pattern or explicit directions to follow I find I have about as much talent as a 2 year old. I get this squirmy guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach when I think of sewing, quilting, croqueting, needle point and such. Truth be told I sometime jest that I'm not married because the domestic side of me is broken!

But then I see a video like this...

...And it stirs something in my soul.

My friend Natalie described it beautifully here. 

After I wade through all the things I don't do I am grateful for the ways I do create! I love to sing all the day long and if you are lucky on certain days at special times you might get to hear me sing what is in my heart. I also love to play the piano (thanks mom!) playing others compositions and creating my own.

Recently I've been getting back into writing and I love it! I have a friend that shares his short stories with me and I send him essays or poems I've written. It has been wonderful and its led me to dust off some of my old journals and really dig back into that creative side of my life!

However you "create" I encourage you to make that a part of your life!

Family Friday: Grant

Grant Marcus Shields

May 17, 1984-July 24, 1999

I miss my brother! I miss him at random times on different days, everywhere I go, and I see him in the faces of different boys, young adults, and men I meet in life. It has almost been 10 years since he died but there are moments, thankfully not as many these days, when my heart just aches for him. 

Sometimes I just wish I could ask him what he is doing. Talk to him about our family, where each of us are in lives, and just laugh with him. I think part of the sadness I feel is that I don't get to see him grow up.

Things I love about Grant:

• his impatience--the way he would poke up on the arm with his finger to get our attention.
• how he would stand like a flamingo in front of the tv
• his ability to love. They were rare but the times when he would just sit still and give me a hug, cuddle, or we would just chat about life I will treasure forever
• that he could eat, eat, and continue eating at all times of day, at all places, and whatever was in front of him.
• that he loved bananas. I can't look at a banana today without thinking of Granty!
• he had no guile. 
• the way he just let everyone be themselves
• the fact that he wanted to play basketball all the time even with the mailman
• that when he wanted to be good at something he would really work at it. most of the time he had to work harder than most kids but he didn't mind.
• I love going to his basketball games and cheering him on I was so proud of him.
• he was my little baby boy. I remember when he was little with all the tubes and stuff all over him and I cried. Chelsea & I were so happy to have a little brother.
• I love watching home videos of him and how much he filled our lives with joy

Little brother know I miss you so much and love you!

Family Friday: Chelsea

Chelsea Shields Strayer

I wrote a birthday tribute to my sister already but I'll tell you more about what I love about her:

• She is brilliant
• She is is hilarious
• She can live with no running water, in the dirt of Africa, with sweat running down her face and she can get all dolled up, look like she is walking into court, and look like a model. She is the same inside no matter what the outside package looks like and they are all amazingly brilliant!
• It is no surprise that she & I are very different. Despite that I learn a lot from her as the years go by. She, in many ways, is an example to me.
• She is adventurous and I love that about her. She loves to travel and we share that in common.
• She is very intellectual about many topics and be careful because she will battle you.
• She is loyal to those she loves and they are loyal back.
• I have 27 other reasons on my tribute blog to her so go check them out!

Chels, I miss you lots and although I know you love being in Africa I know you miss lots of things back home. So we will definitely have to get some Taco Bell, get you a decent shower, let you do some laundry (by machine) and many more things you just can't do in Ghana!  Until then know I love you and can't wait to see you!

"Sister-Sister Time"

Camryn "Elizabeth" Shields

I'm 18 years older than the youngest in my family, my lil sis Camryn, so we have never really lived together. I thought it would be fun to have her come and stay with me for a few days in AZ, then we would drive up to UT together, then we would come back to AZ and she would fly home.

This trip was her first time flying in a plane and she really enjoyed it. She told me that she even got to check her email from the laptop of the man sitting next to her in the plane on her way from Sacramento to Phoenix!
After I picked her up form the airport we headed to my school to show her around a bit. That night we played with my roommates, watched a few movies and after she had worn me out we went to sleep.

The next day we decided to go to the Phoenix Zoo! Camryn loved the Zoo and even took a bunch of the photos below.

Holy FAT Frog!

We had to take a picture of this road runner as he is the mascot of Camryn's elementary school!

Her favorite part was the petting zoo!

After a great day at the Zoo we headed to UT. We stayed in Hurricane for the night and left for Provo the next morning.  We played around on Friday, Kylee saw some good friends, and Camryn loved playing with her cousin Mikelle!

In the morning Dani, Kevin, Cam, & I  waiting for the beautiful bride & groom (cousin JC) to get wed and then we took some family pics. On our way back to Provo we stopped at Cafe Rio for lunch and Chelsea called me from Africa. She wanted to let us know that Mike was in town at his brother Jame's house.  So of course we went by to see Mike and his new nephew Ethan!

Before we left UT we had to see grandma B.

Randomly I decided to pull over on the side of the road and Cam & I hiked up some of these Red Rock Cliffs to take some cool pictures. Cam really loved detour!

We, of course, had to stop for a Dam picture!

This picture is for Ali-gali! This is the "Elephant" park down my street where I frequently go swing on the swings when I need to de-stress or think.

On our last day together we decided to get out my all things Arizona Frommer's Guide that I bought when I first got here. I am determined to do all things Arizona before I leave the state. As we were trying to decided where to go Camryn wanted to go to the Goldsfield Ghosttown. So we did and we had a blast. 

We ate lunch, walked around the Old West town, rode the railroad train, learned about the Superstition Mountains, and much more. All in all it was a great day. 

The we headed home, got her all packed up, and I sent her back on a plane home.  It was great to be able to spend some "sister sister time" (thanks for the title of this blog Kaitlin!). I love you Camryn!

Family Friday: Mike

Michael McLachlan Strayer

My brother-in-law Mike is incredible!  When he's not in Ghana you can find him doing a multitude of various things:

• He likes to write about different kinds of things and in many different styles
• He is amazing at organizing things and has put a lot time in the Give to Ghana blog to get aid where it is so desperately needed!
• He likes politics, traveling, the environment and so many more things.
• I love that Mike is a thinker. He knows what he likes and doesn't like and is willing to debate you on it--just know what you are talking about.
• I love that Mike married my sister!  He is most likely the best thing that every happened to her. There is not way to express how much it means to have an amazing man marry your sister.
• Mike is patience, kind, and puts up with a lot of crap. Being the first to marry into my family was not easy! Mike has done an amazing job and paved the way for others.
• Mike is very talented. Besides writing, cooking, being able to get along with just about nothing, managing money, and taking great pictures, he was also in a band with Chels called POST in Boston.
• Did I mention he is also brilliant. He got his Master's in Hispanic Studies with an emphasis in film and literature (I think?) at Boston College. He is not deciding where to go for his PhD.
• One other thing I love and appreciate about Mike more than he knows is his patience and love for me--even when I invade in his space and life. Thanks for letting me crash on your couch when I first moved to Boston and in your spare room when I came to Africa!

There's a lot more I love of this great man. Unlike the rest of my family I don't have as much experience or history with him so I'm still getting to know him. I'm so glad he is part of the family and just want to say love ya brother!  Ps good luck with grad school choices, getting over Malaria, and other heartbreaks!

Family Friday: Mom

Okay folks so I missed posting this on Friday--oh well. I will still call it Family Friday! I will note that I tried tirelessly to find a picture of my mom alone--I don't think one exists (well at least not after she got married). 

Heidi Ellen Brinkerhoff Shields

Again I get a chance to brag out the wazoo about my AMAZING mom. She is one of the most multi talented women I know. She had 8 children, a very busy husband, and a lot of extended family. My mom knows a little about what it means to be a mom. Each of her 8 children are unique and come with their ups and downs. Most of the time when I think of my mom it just makes me tired and I really don't know how she did or does it??  Like my dad I could go on and on for ages but I will just mention some of the things I love about my mom:

• She loves God first
• She is a master at making money stretch and balancing a checkbook
• She has learned that being frugal but enjoying life can coincide
• She puts her family first
• She is sooo creative. She sews brilliantly, she has a huge vocabulary, she sings with grace and sounds like butter, and she loves to read
• She enjoys entertainment, movies, tv, People magazine, and always knows what the stars are up to. She even knocked on Jennifer Gardner Afleck's door while visiting me in Boston.
• She has a VERY high pain tolerance, but also a very tender heart
• My mom should win a prize for patience, understanding, and parenting--though she would says she fails on all accounts-she deserves a purple heart or something for the battle of motherhood that she is going through
• My mom was pregnant for 6 years-enough said
• My mom kept her teaching degree current and is now a substitute teacher
• She is someone I can tell anything to and she will listen, she really wants me to be happy, she tries really hard to understand my situations, and she is learning with me.
• She loves her family and they adore here. She is the little caboose that her sister (11 years older than her) prayed into life.
• My mom has endured a lot of loss in her life: a brother dying, a father dying, and a son dying, as well as other losses.

And the list could go on!  One thing I will never forget about my mom is how she wanted the world for her kids. She and my dad didn't have much money when I was little but that never stopped her. She would sew the dance outfits of my classmates in my dance classes so that I can take ballet, toe, tap, and jazz. She would trade babysitting my piano teachers kids for lessons. She would do whatever it took so that we try out a bunch of different outlets and I am the person I am today because of that!

My mom made me take piano lessons when I was younger and I gave her a really hard time--in fact in my life to this day I don't think I've fought anyone harder on something. She insisted that I would thank her one day and I insisted that she was wrong. And I learned that mom's know best! I love coming home and playing the piano (the same piano I grew up playing on).  I hope that every time she hears me play it's like I'm saying "I'm sorry" for being so rotten to her. And I love it even more when my mom and sisters come over and join in singing!

God knew that I needed a certain mom. One who would love me to pieces, push me to be my best, allow me to fly, and keep me grounded!  I know God exists because he sent me to my mom!

Mom, I'll always be the first born in the wilderness!

I love you too!

I opened my email today and found this:

hey this is Camryn i am so 

excited to see you i love

 you!!!

The text was white with a fancy dancy blue background and some cool design in the corners.  Man I have no idea how my 11 year old sister knows how to do all that!

Rated R Movies in Education??

This is a topic I simply choose-most of the time- to avoid like the plague! Every one seems to have their own opinion about whether or not a person should or should not watch rated R movies. I'm sure that you have all heard both sides of the coin. I have another question on this topic that I'd like to address:

What do you think about watching rated R movies in an educational setting ?

Today I did something I have only done (that I can remember) once in my life. I actually walked out of a school class that was showing a rated R movie. I didn't realize until we were actually in class and the lovely rated R thing popped up that it was rated R. I quietly walked up to my teacher, asked if I could be excused and how long the movie would be so I could come back when it was over. My teacher was very understanding and I left. That was it.

I'm pretty sure that she didn't know what to think of me--a social worker in training--who refused to watch a simple rated R movie. The thing is the movie wasn't a documentary, it wasn't something that I needed to see in order to understand the topic we were learning-it was to enhance our experience. So I decided that I would just do something in the place of the movie-if my teacher requested it. Like read an article or book on the subject or find a comparable movie that wasn't rated R. Most likely she won't ask me to do anything and I'll get the summary from a classmmate.

I know that not every clip I watch in grad school is rated, not every topic fits into what I would deem "appropriate", and not all media is needed or necissary. At the same time there is power in media, movies, documentaries, films, songs. This type of medium speaks to the emotions like none other. I recognize that I will be experiencing real life as a social worker but does that mean I need to watch things, by choice, that are harmful to me?

So I guess I'm just posing the question to see what some of you think about this subject. Not about what you think about watching rated R movies in general but about school and rated R movies??

ps I originally wrote this blog in the time between when I left the class and when I returned. Most of my classmates didn't even know I was gone but a few asked where I was. I just responded, "I left" to which they just moved on.  Two different girls, however, when class was over came up to me and said they wished they would have not seen the movie. They didn't know that there were going to be some explicit sex scenes having nothing to do with the topic of the class.