Remember

Remember me when the day is done

When your laughing heart is free

Remember me when the day begins

The flag flies for liberty

Remember me when you're free to roam

When you can worship where you may

Remember me when you take a stand

And have freedom of speech to say

Remember me when you make a choice

When you kneel down to pray

Remember me when it's not so easy

I died so you could live this way

reprinted from (5/28/06)

In memory of all those who died so I can be free!

New Song

Strength Beyond My Own

Music & Lyrics by Kylee Shields

To: Lucy's Mom

I know You hear my prayers

I know You count my every tear

I know You understand

‘Cuz You’re the only one who can

I know see my flaws

I know you feel my every fear

I know You’re the only one

Who can wipe away these tears

I need You more than I have ever know

So breath in me strength beyond my own

Some say that time can heal my wounds

Some days I feel that might be true

Right now I don’t understand

But I know You have a plan

I’m trying to find my way

Struggling through the smiles and pain

Knowing I can trust in You

Helps me somehow make it through

I need You more than I have known

So breath in me strength beyond my own

So give me wings to fly away

Or the strength to fight another day

Take away my broken heart

Or teach me how to restart

I know that I am loved

Supported at home and from above

And even in my deep despair

It helps to know You’re there

So give me wings to fly today

And the strength to fight another day

Help me mend my broken heart

And teach me how to restart

‘Cuz I know You more than anyone I know

Can breathe in me strength beyond my own

Happy 25th Birthday Granty!

Longfellow Chapel in Cambridge, MA burning

This morning during Stake Conference the Longfellow Chapel in Cambridge, MA, where I went to church for 2 1/2 years, started burning. It started, I think, from something electrical in the ceiling and then billowed out from there. No one was hurt, everyone was evacuated and you can read more and see pictures here, here,  here, here, here, and a video here.  I am devastated! So many memories, such an old and historic building, and so full of the faith of many saints! It is a sad day!

Grand Theft Auto--Almost!

This post is in response to my friend's blog.

When I lived in Oregon we had a German Shepherd dog that I absolutely loved named Angel Eyes. We mostly called her Angel. At this same time in my life I would drive around in this pee colored (really light tan) toyota corolla that I also loved! And so with that my story begins...

One day I went to the pet store to get a big bag of dog food for Angel. It was nothing unusual. The size of the bag was huge and walking it out of the store was bit tough but I had my keys out and ready to open the trunk of my car and deposit the dog food. Once deposited I opened the front door and got inside the car. I put the key in the slot and turned it a few times but the car wouldn't start.  I was a little frustrated and I took my key out, put my foot on the brake, moved the steering wheel a bit, and tried to start the car again.  It was at this point that I looked around the car and realized I wasn't in my car!!!

I can't even describe the panic that ensued.  I was freaking out. Did anyone see me try to steal this car?  How did I not notice it wasn't my car? And many other questions flooded my mind. So I got out of the unknown car, unlocked the trunk (again), got the dog food out, and proceeded to deposit the dog food into my car a few spaces over.

Mind you the cars looked identical. My car key actually unlocked not only the trunk of the other car but the front door also--so can you blame me??  I think the fact that my key unlocked someone else's Toyota Corolla made me feel a little uneasy inside for a few days.

I managed to get into my car, look to see that no one (that I could see) had witnessed my almost grand theft auto experience, and drove home.

Today I got to be a guest blogger on A Single Girl in a Mormon World.

"I'm Alive!"

Today I walked down the street to Elephant Park, enjoyed swinging on the swings, and laughed. When I was tired I sat down on the nearby slide and read a book until the sun went to sleep. Today was a good day!

Family Friday: Ali

Alexa Shields

Ali is the 6th child and 5th girl in our family. I have no idea what that feels like. All I know is it might have something to do with the fact that Ali is all personality! She has her own way style and is true to herself.  Ali was around 7 years old, I think, when I moved out of my house. What I know about her I love!

• Alexa composes these incredible songs on the piano (I can't get enough)!
• Alexa is hilarious and keeps me in stiches
• Ali has this Bronx accent that is amazing  
• Alexa & Kaitlin are the best of friends who have individual lives
• Ali is a super track star and has gone out of state a few times to compete!
• Ali somehow somewhere along the way grew much taller than me and I resent that
• I don't get to see Ali very often but it always does my heart good when I do

I love ya Ali-galy and can't wait to see you again soon!

I miss you Old North Bridge!

This I Believe

The other day I was listening to a podcast of "This American Life" and they were talking about the NPR podcast "This I Believe" and I was enamored by the idea. So I went to the original "This I Believe" website, read some of the essays, learned the personal essay rules, and here is my This I Believe Essay:

I believe in power of listening.

I believe that people need to be validated. They need to know that what they are contributing to society matters. They need to be heard. Sometimes they want feedback, advice, or a shoulder to cry on, but most times they just need someone to listen.

I am no expert at listening-in fact it is something I have been working on for years and I am still working on. listening isn’t just about hearing spoken words. Sometimes to be a great listener you have to hear things that are unspoken.  I believe that as much as people speak with their mouths-it’s their hearts that are screaming to be heard.  I also believe that some of the greatest communication comes in the depths of silence.  To borrow a line from a hymn, “In the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eye can’t see.” 

Listening is more than just hearing someone.  Listening requires restraint, patience, and often action.  Sometimes listening means throwing all judgement out the door, letting people tell their own story, and literally getting down on ones level to hear what they are saying or not saying with their mouth and/or their heart.

Recently as I was working as a Behavior Coach for kids in the Foster Care System I realized how simple yet profound the act of listening can be. One my clients was a 7 year old boy who had been in and out of foster care homes since he was born. He was born addicted to drugs, has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, and many behavior disorders. I was called in to work with him as sort of a last resort. His foster parents didn’t now what to do with him and his case work and others were running out of ideas. I went to a few meetings about my client and realized quickly that everyone was either talking about him or at him and not very many people were listening to him.  I chose to listen and that made all the difference! When we would get together I would ask him what he wanted to do and one day he said go for a walk.  About half way around the block he stopped-so I stopped.  Instead of launching into a million questions--I waited and listened. He said, “Do you think it would be okay with you if we sat here?” And so we sat and he talked and I listened and in that small moment, he and I sitting on the sidewalk, he told me wanted to be an animal doctor when he grew up. He told me he was sad when his mom didn’t come when she promised, that he was tired from not sleeping through the nights, and that he didn’t want to be so angry anymore.  He told me many more things that had been locked inside his heart, and although I had the urge to fix his problem and tell him what to do--I just sat there and listened. There were long moments when no one spoke, moments when he just took deep breaths, and one moment when my heart seemed to hear faintly what his heart was trying to say.

I believe in the power of listening. I believe in beautiful silence and in the painfully awkward silence. Most importantly I believe in listening with my heart as well as with my ears. 

If you are interested I would love to read your "This I Believe" personal essay!

Electronic Fast

Sometimes you just need to get away! So I'm doing just that. I will be in San Diego for the weekend and I'm going on an electronic fast. I will have access but it will be limited. Have a great weekend!

Mormon Blogs You Can't Afford to Miss

As you can see by my blog roll I follow a lot of brilliant, talented, educated, and hilarious blogs! I count myself blessed to have such amazing friends! Suffice it to say that I am busy with grad school and life--these blogs have helped me to maintain my sanity. Just in case you have never happened upon (I know some of you are lurkers) these amazing blogs on your own--I am going to do a bit of a Mormon Blog Shout-Out! They are in particular order and I love them all:

A Single Girl in a Mormon World

This blog is just hot off the press ladies and is especially for those of you who are single! My friend Peggy is hilarious, she is amazingly talented, she is a visionary, has a heart of gold, and she is making things happen in her life. She is also quite the enabler in the lives of those around her! If you are frustrated that people keep asking you why you are single, if you've been to a wedding recently and were asked when will be your turn, or if you are looking for positive reaffirmation that it's okay to be a single mormon female--this blog is for you!

A Mormon in Manhattan

If you are mormon and have always wanted to know what is going on in the NYC scene then my friend Natalie Hill's blog is for you. I have always dreamed of singing on Broadway but Natalie has actually done it (and well I might add!). Her blog is hilarious, sincere, informative, and entertaining!

Musings & Music

I can't plug my friend Mindy Gledhill enough! She is kind, sincere, loyal, crazy (I love that about her), and she is honest. If you are looking to read about someone who is real, recognizes her flaws, loves her huband & kidlets, is passionate about her music, and gets that God comes first then this is the blog for you!

Thirty Something

My friend Ty Mansfield is incredible. He has a gift for writing, listening to hearts, and being an advocate. His blog is just the inspiration you need in your life to get through the mundane and negative world we seem to live in. He is current on issues, he is a defender of the cause, and he has no fear becuase he is full of faith! If your heart is in need of some healing his blog is the solution!

In My Opinion

My man Don Osmond has got things going on. He is on a bobsled team (would does that), he is a blogger for Mormon Times, and use to be referred to as "Dr. Love" when he wrote for the magazine "Schooled". If you are needing advice, if you are in the "cresting thirty" age range, or if you just want to be entertained--stay tuned to Don's blog!

The Quest For Mastery

My friend Jake is a motivational speaker as part of his job but he is a motivational person as part of his being. Trust me just being around him makes you feel like a better person. If you are someone who needs a good dose of motivation, if you are up to his blog challenges, and if you want to improver your self mastery then this blog is perfect for you!

A Little Sussy

Nicole (Hill) Geralut is one talented lady. This is double shout out for her. She is going to be doing a photography class in Phoenix as just one of her many stops on her photography tour! If you love great clothes, fun little sussies, amazing photography, and a little bit or everything else then you can't miss out on this blog!

Make it Happen!

In 2006 I decided I needed a change so I joined AmeriCorps and moved to Boston. That year my motto became: Make it Happen! This mindset has transformed my life. I don't think I'm unique in this endeavor.

In a day and age where people are paralyzed by fear, where they are not only losing their jobs but their confidence, and where people are losing hope I choose to tell a different story!

I want to collect personal essays/stories from people that have MADE things happen in their lives. This includes dreams they made come true, goals they've accomplished, trips they've taken, people they've met, and so much more.

Please send me your "Make it Happen" story! 

Your personal story/essay needs to be around 2 pages (1000 words), clear, concise, and how it is you made it happen! Send your story to me: kyleeshields@gmail.com. w/a very brief bio of yourself.

I will be putting together a collection of these inspiring stories to hopefully publish in a book.

I'm Okay

I’m Okay

Music & Lyrics by Kylee shields

I know it’s been a while since I’ve been here

Brought flowers to your grave and spoke my heart

and though you can’t respond

I can’t help wondering

How it would be

If you were here

I know I’d be different

That your life would change mine

I know I’d see things a different way if you were here

I know we’d have good days

To counter the bad ones

I know there’d be miles and miles of laughter along the way

And so today I came to say

That I’m okay

I miss you most in family picture moments

On random days and times I can’t predict

And though I know God has a plan

I’m wondering

What you can see

And what you can’t

I try to be better

To make your life matter

I try to remember small moments that we shared

I’m working on Listening

To hearts that are hurting

I’m trying to love everyone along the way

And so today I came to say

That I’m okay

I’m hoping there are days you hear my heart

And know that I still miss you though it’s years we’ve been apart

Please know that you’ve changed me

Just knowing you loved me

All the memories we shared make me smile

I’m longing for heaven

For our grand reunion

When we can be a family once again

And so today I cam to say

Until that day

I’m okay

The Unencumbered Life

Most of you are familiar with the idea of good, better, and best. Most of you understand the principle of not running faster that you can walk and that milk comes before meat. You understand what it means to be anxiously engaged, build the kingdom, and be an instrument in the Lord's hand. We generally get these ideas. We understand the importance of doing good when and where we can. We know the greatest commandment is to love God, then others (as ourselves).

Where I think some of us get lost is in the implementation of these great principles.  I think we look are our schedule, at our life, and we think okay here are all the things I need to do. Here are all the ways I need to serve others. Here are all the things I need to do to love and serve God. We start making a list and filling our schedule with lots of good and great things. We start serving people all over the place. We do a lot of good and better things but end up feeling a little empty.

I call this the Encumbered* Life.

Without going into too much detail I think there is another way to apply these brilliant principles into our lives. I look at my schedule, my life, my propinquity, and evaluate. I start planning the essentials/non negotiable things, I plug in some "me time", and of course some social plans. Here's where things change. Instead of filling up all the space I have I leave some huge gaping holes, small holes, and mostly just leave some negotiable space to work with.

I call this the On the Way principle.

In carving out negotiable space it's a bit uncomfortable, at first, to have down time--it almost feels selfish. Then something magical happens. The Lord takes that space and He uses it for His purposes. Now instead of me filling it with things I think need to be done or people I think I need to serve He takes that time and fills it with things He needs me to do. He brings people to me I need to serve. It's simple really.

Jesus Christ did many of his miracles while he was on the way to doing something else. Many times in the New Testament He was on his way to perform one miracle when he is stopped on the way and presented with opportunities to heal and bless others.

Soon you will find that you are just as busy as you were before you carved out those gaping holes of negotiable space but you feel much different. Time wise not much has changed but now you are utilizing your life in the best ways possible.

I call this the unencumbered life.

*thanks members of MM for letting me borrow this word .

The Grant Shields Memorial Run

I can't believe it's almost been 10 years! Grant died on Pioneer Day, 1999. I remember that day so vividly. Our lives were changed forever. Our hearts still ache and we miss him so much. The Savior has comforted us as we've spent the past 10 years without our Granty. There is hope smiling brightly before us.

In honor of Grant's life, we've decided to participate in the Deseret News Marathon/10k/5k. Our family would like to extend an invitation toall who would like to join in this special day.

The Grant Shields Memorial Run:

*July 24, 2009------------->(the 10 yr. anniversary of his death)

*Salt Lake City, Utah

*Times: Marathon-5:30am, 10k-6:00am, 5k-7:00am

*Prices: Marathon-$58, 10k-$30, 5k-$20

*Register HERE


**Also, I will be ordering really awesome t-shirts so if that seems like something you would be interested in, please contact me at:danishields@gmail.com.

(This was originally posted on my sister Danielle's blog but I couldn't resist re-posting it here)

I LOVE BOOKS!

Knowing how much I love books my friend Brandon took me to a local downtown Mesa bookstore called, "Books".  I was in love the moment I set foot into the bookstore. It was amazing. The place was incredible, full of so many old books, and sections of books to buy that were entertaining. I thought of my my dad when I came upon the "Western Fiction" section.

And don't even get me started on the sliding ladders all throughout the store. I just couldn't resist getting on one and having my picture taken!

I think I could have spent the entire day in that store. I didn't but I will back for sure!

Check out the beautiful Franklin Library Collection. Those are some beautiful books!

Thanks for introducing me to "Books" Brandon!

Family Friday: Kati

Kaitlin Shields

My sister Kaitlin & I share something in common in our family. I'm the oldest of the kids but she is the "oldest" of the 2nd half of our family. Kaitlin is adventures, fun, loving, talented, and loyal. It was so good to be able to hang out with her recently as she checked SDSU-the college she is going to next in the Fall. I love me some Kati-bugs!

• Kaitlin has a hear of gold
• She is one good sister
• She is an amazing and loyal friend
• I love Kaitlin & Alexa's friendship!
• Kati is one good dancer!
• Kaitlin has a bit of a rebellious side (I love it!)
• She is educated, wants to be politically involved, and is a smarty pants
• She is so fun to be around and keeps me laughing
• I left home a long time ago but from what I can tell she has done an excellent job of being the "oldest" kid in the house.
• Kaitlin is kind and crazy and that makes a great mix

I'm so excited that Kaitlin is going to SDSU and that it's only 6 hours away from me. That means many more road trips to San Diego to see her and get to know her better! I love ya Kates and I wish you the best with the end of your senior year. You have a lot of adventure, excitement, heart ache, stress, and lots of joy headed your way in the future. I can't wait to watch it happen!

Enabler

To go along with my last post I wonder what you would call someone that helps make another person's dreams/goal come to fruition.  A dream enabler??  A goal enabler?  Or just an Enabler??

As you all know I recently adopted a piano, a life long dream and goal. This was accomplished through a friend--he saw need (desire) & a way to fulfill it. He then made it happen. He enabled (with a few other key players) me to accomplish a goal and life dream!

I want to be more like that. I want to be an enabler to people in my life. I want them to not only know but to feel like I champion their goals and dream. That I'm a not just a cheerleader to their success but that I'm here to help them accomplish their dreams/goals.

I want to be a better enabler!

Social Enabler

Recently I talked to a good friend of mine. He lives in Boston and was catching up on the who is who and that what's what of our friends. In the conversation he called me a social enabler. He said that around the same time I moved so did a few other key social enablers and so things just aren't the same.

I've thought a lot about that concept--being a social enabler. I like it. He described it as someone who comes up with a idea and then just invites people (creates a social scene) to whatever they are doing. 

It's hard to be a social enabler when you don't know a lot of people, when you are new to a place, or when most of your time is consumed (all of which happens to be my life here in AZ.) I think that is why it has taken me so long to warm up to Arizona. I miss being a social enabler or being a part of other social enablers.