Arizona State Fair

My Sister Is A Rock Star!!!

In case you haven't heard or seen the buzz about my sister Ali, she was on Ellen yesterday. You should watch the clip of her here and see some of her wicked awesome dancing moves at the beginning of Ellen's show here. In addition she has posted two of her original songs on YouTube here and here.

She's always been a big deal to those of us who know her (my family is so excited and a bit FB crazy these days) but now she's the real deal! I am so proud you Alexa for making a bucket list and being able to check off your number 1!

"What Lack I Yet?"

There is story from the book of Matthew in the New Testament of a man who comes to the Lord and asks, "Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life?" and the Lord proceeds to list of things this man needs to do. When the Lord is done with the list the man says, "All these things have I kept from my youth up: What lack I yet?" Then "Jesus beholding him loved him and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven; and come, take up the cross, and follow me." (Matthew 19:16-22) & (Mark 10:21.)

This question, "What lack I yet?" has been ruminating in my mind for a few days. I read this story of this man I feel sorry for the man. He asked the Lord what he needed to do and the Lord, because He loved him, answered him. The Lord told him the one thing he was lacking but in the end the man wasn't willing to give up his riches for eternal life. I sometimes wonder if I am the same?

Oddly, today I had the exact opposite thought from the above. The line from a song I wrote recently kept coming to my mind. "All you see when you look at me is everything I lack..." I wonder how often we only see in others the things they are lacking or missing? I wonder if we completely miss out on great relationships, friendships or even romantic possibilities because we are so focused on what someone is lacking instead of all they posses.

I hope I am willing to give up all I posses to return to God someday and in the meantime I strive to see what people have to offer rather than what they are lacking.

Which is Worse?

The other day I asked a co-worker of mine what I should tell people when they ask me what I do.

I said, "Should I tell them I'm a Social Worker or a Therapist?"

He laughed and with a smile on his face said, "Either one is better than telling them that you are Mormon."

WAVE

I've been dabbling with a new website called WAVE women advocating for voice & equality. My sister Chelsea Shields Strayer is on the Board of Directors and got me interested. She had a wonderful interview with KRCL: RadioActive! so check it out to see what WAVE is all about.

I wrote a post on WAVE's Hope section of their website. I felt great about what I wrote and even called both my parents to get their opinions. I figured they'd be a bit squirmy about their two feminist daughters but was surprised to hear that they were fine with what I had written. Then came some negative comments and I started thinking about what it actually means to be a Mormon Feminist. I think, as far as Mormon Feminists go, I'm very mild and moderate but nevertheless if wanting equality means I'm a feminist--so be it! I am so proud of my sister, a very strong feminist, that she is reaching women who desperately need a place to call home.

I am grateful for wonderful (conservatively faithful) parents who have taught me truth and let me find myself in this great big world!

An Attitude of Gratitude

After watching General Conference I couldn't help but feel very grateful for all the blessings in my life. I wrote this poem a while ago but I thought I would post it since it describes many of the things I'm grateful for.
Made For Me

Behold the heavens Thy hands hath made

Deep is the valley Thou freely gave

On top the mountain, Beneath the sea

For these I’m grateful Thou made for me

To see a rainbow in its array

And bask in twilight near the end of day

The shooting star, For every tree

For these I’m grateful Thou made for me

For every sunrise that starts the day

And every river that’s carved its way

For every flower and every bee

Of these I’m grateful Thou made for me

The sound of music that fills the air

The deepest of love that we share

For healing, forgiveness, and eyes to see

Of these I'm grateful Thou made for me

Kylee Shields 2/17/10

Date #7: "Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better"

Name: "Jackpot"

Profession: State Farm Agent

Date Theme: Competition

My original final date got called into work so I was told by HT that I would have a date and to to be ready by 7:30 pm. So I was at home with my roommates getting ready around 7:00 pm when I heard my roommate scream up to me to call 911 b/c the neighbors were fighting. I rand downstairs and outside ( I have personally seen how bad these domestic violence fights can be). I yelled at my neighbors to stop and long story short they calmed down a bit. I told my story to the 911 dispatch while the neighbors continued to get intoxicated and were swearing up a storm. The Cops came dealt with the situation, came over and got our witness statements and then we had actually write out our statements. The Cops took our driver's license and such and it was at this time that my date showed up....

Turns out it was "Jackpot" aka the HT aka The Instigator!! I was surprised to see him at my door but knew that I would have a blast. So after I finished up with the cops "Jackpot" and I headed to Tempe Market Place. We went to eat dinner at Dave & Busters but there was a wait so we decided to walk around and talk.

I thought this bike rack was super awesome!

I couldn't resist playing in the jumping fountain with the kiddos!

Finally it was time to eat and we had a great time getting to know each other and eating our fabulous food. When we were done eating the games began. "Jackpot" just wanted to win or beat me in every game we played (and he almost did). I had so much fun playing all the games and winning tons of tickets!

"Jackpot" won the 600 ticket jackpot and the 200 ticket jackpot for a total of 800 tickets!

The tickets seriously were coming out of the machine forever!

"Jackpot" was kind and bought me an Elmo for 1/2 the tickets we earned (yes we only used 1/2 our tickets that's how many tickets we won.)

Then "Jackpot" drove me home, walked me to the door, said goodbye, and...

Date #6: Ward Picnic

Name: "Hulu"

Profession: Full-Time ASU Law Student

Date Theme: Picnic in the Park

My date tonight is roommates with "Sushi" and both are in my new ward. "Hulu" came and picked me up and we went to the store to pick out food to make dinner. We decided to make pizza and picked up a dessert while we were there. Then we went back to "Hulu's" house to make our pizza. I was given the job to do the sauce and cheese while my date did the pepperoni.

After we had finished making dinner we headed to Freestone Park to join our ward for a picnic themed date night. Here's how it worked: people from the ward signed up to be a part of the picnic night. Then the girls who came prepared a dinner for two and the guys who came prepared a dessert for two. The girls put their dinners on the table and the guys picked whatever picnic he wanted and then they were matched to eat a picnic dinner. They were given a few getting to know you questions. When that was done we all walked to a different area in the park and the guys set up their desserts and the girls picked the dessert of their choice and were matched up with the guy for a picnic dessert. Again each couple was given some questions.

In the end all the questionnaire's were placed in a bowl. The couple chosen were each given gift certificates ($40).

So "Hulu" and I went to the part but instead of switching date we just had both the dinner and dessert picnics with each other. We ate the pizza we made and enjoyed the Oreo cake dessert we bought. We had already asked some getting to know you questions previous to the picnic but welcomed the ready make questionnaires.

One of the questions: "What do you do in your free time" brought about a funny conversation with my date. He admitted that whenever he is asked this question all he can think of as an answer is "I like to watch TV." I laughed and readily agreed. Telling him that I watch my episodes on Hulu to unwind from my crazy job to my daily living. We talked about how most people like to watch TV but that's not an acceptable answer to give so everyone always thinks of other things they do. I laughed and said that is exactly what I do--my go to answer is that I play the piano. "Hulu" admitted that he hates the commercials on Hulu and would rather watch his favorite shows on TV than Hulu.

We had a great time answering the questions and then making up our own questions. When the ward picnic was over "Hulu" took me home. We didn't stay up much longer b/c our ward temple was at 6:30 am Saturday morning. So "Hulu" walked me to the door, said goodnight, and he...

Date #5: "Sing Me A Song You're the..."

Name: "Piano man"

Profession: Full-Time Student (Pest Control on the side)

Date Theme: Dinner & Entertainment

I was suppose to go on a date with one guy but something came up so "Piano Man" was great and filled in last minute. He took me to Rumbi for dinner and I really enjoyed the ambiance and company. I had never been to Rumbi and really liked the Hawaiian feel it had.

"Piano Man" and I ate our rice bowls and had some great conversation. During the conversation we learned that we both play the piano in common. So after dinner we went back to my house and played some piano. "Piano Man" can play jazz ( I dream about being able to do that some times) and so we attempted to play a few duets.

After our jam session I walked him back outside to say goodbye and he...

Date #4: Genki

Name: "Sushi"

Profession: Medical Student (D.O.) @ A.T. Still

Date Theme: Dinner & Dessert

"Sushi" and I hadn't met before but I had seen him in my ward a few times. He seemed like he had a great personality! He was with a school friend while she was taking the first discussion from the Missionaries before we went out. He was a bit late (but is there really a better excuse??)

We were heading to an Indian food but it was closed. While we doing some getting to know each other I found out that "Sushi" is half Japanese and served his mission in Japan. So that was fun b/c I'm currently loving all things Japan. So since we couldn't get Indian food we looked around near by and found a Sushi place. We decided to be adventurous and try it out.

I liked the sushi but enjoyed the company even more! "Sushi" and I had a blast talking to each other and have SO much in common. We both love culture, music, and of course, Japan! In particular he likes Jazz (which is rare)! We got Vegas rolls, California Rolls, Eel, and Spicy Tuna and ate every last bite!

Then we went to get some ice cream to share and "Sushi" told me all about his school, A.T. Still University, and how much he enjoys his program. He is passionate about helping people and as a therapist I share that same passion so we had a lot to talk about in that area.

At the end of the night we sat in the rocking chairs on the porch at my house and talked for a bit more but "Sushi" is training to be a doctor so he still has hours of homework to complete. So we said goodbye...

Date #3: Storytelling

Name: "Cop"

Profession: City of Phoenix Cop

Date Theme: Storytelling

"Cop" has to wake up at 4:00 am so we didn't have a long date but we did have a great time. "Cop" took me a place called, "Joe's Farm Grill" that I have been hearing about but had never been. We both got burgers and the stories began.

"Cop" told me a bunch of great stories about his adventures being a cop, a crazy story about his roommate, and I shared a few of my own stories. We had a great time just sharing stories from the "trenches" and talking about some research on secondary trauma, etc. I found the conversation great and we laughed a lot.

After dinner we went back to "Cop's" place and continued telling stories whilst playing a fierce game of Jenga. I won and that's all that matters. Then "Cop" took me home, walked me to the door, and...

It was great to be able to talk "shop" a bit with "cop".Even though we have different jobs they have a lot of similarities. "Cop" seems like a really stellar guy!

Date #2: Moonlit River

Name: "Gondolier"

Profession: Handy Man

Date Theme: Kayaking on the moonlit river

"Gondolier" (Gondo) surprised me with his laid back personality. He sounded like he was from Southern Cali but is actually from UT. He used to live on the slops at Snowbird and then the Lord told him to fly away from the snow to Arizona. "Gondo" shared his Alma-like conversion story throughout the night and it was very interesting!

The Vessel

We went to the store to buy the ingredients for what he called "Mexi-Brauts" and then we loaded up a two man kayak and drove to the end of the Salt River. Once we got there he busted out his propane stove and started cooking away. He made sweet potato fries with butter and garlic, put the brauts on the grill, and pulled out his outdoor lounge chairs. Oh I can't forget the awesome Reggae music he had playing from the truck.

When it came time to put the brauts together "Gondo" realized he'd forgotten to buy hot dog buns! No worries my friends, he happen to have two English Muffins in the cooler so we used those instead. We had brauts with cilantro, onions, avocado, and some other yummy delicious things. The Sweet Potato friends turned out great and all the food was wonderful. "Gondo" made all the food on the tailgate of his truck so that was fun!

After dinner was over we took the kayak out into the river. Some parts of the river were so shallow we didn't even need to paddle. The ambiance was incredible with the moonlit, stars, and being out on the water. "Gondo" said, "I guess i should have put your seat facing me so that I could gaze into your eyes instead of talking to the back of your head." We both laughed at his cheesy line! I had a blast out on the water and getting to know "Gondo". Then he stood up like a Gondolier in Venice and steered the boat standing up.

When we finally found out launching spot again we headed home to drop off the kayak and then back to my place. "Gondo" walked me to the door and said something like, "You're a cool chick so I'll keep your number." Then he...

I had a wonderful time getting to know "Gondo" better, taking in the wicked awesome moonlight, and enjoying the river!

Date #1: Game Night

Name: "Chef"

Profession: Full-Time Student (Valet on the side)

Date Theme: Dinner & Games

"Chef" (I won't be posting any of the guys real names) picked me up around 7:00 pm. He was a gentleman and opened the doors for me (even the car door). We went to his house where he had prepared some food but it had to cook. He made twice backed potatoes and chicken, onion, and green bell pepper shish kabobs. The food looked amazing. This is where he earned his nickname.

While we waited for the food to cook we played a game called "Sequence" that I had never played before but enjoyed. I did fairly well for my first time but Chef is really good at the game and so he beat me. ( I would make up for that later). The finished cooking, smelled, and tasted amazing! "Chef" lives in a house with 4 other roommates, all of whom I met throughout the night, one of which I had gone on a few dates with previously!

One of "Chef's" roommates and his girlfriend joined us for dinner since there was more than enough for all 4 of us. It was nice to have others to talk to and so our single date turned into a sort of double date. After talking and eating we left to go to a game night at some of "Chef's" friends' house.

Game night was okay but the girls who lived in the house had a cat (which I hate) so I avoided wherever the cat was all evening. At one point we got to play a game of "Cutthroat" and it was "Chef, this guy named Nathan, and I playing together. I was 1-5, Nathan was 6-10, "Chef" was 11-15. Nathan won the game. I beat "Chef" which is all that mattered to me!! I met another one of "Chef's" roommates (he was talking with an Australian accent) at games night. Also I re-met and actually got talking to this amazing girl and she got my number so I was able to do a little networking!

After game night we went back to where "Chef" lives and I met the last roommate (remember I had gone out with the other roommate about 5 years ago). We all ended up eating Cheesecake and just talking and having a great time. "Chef" then took me home, walked me to the door, and...

I had a great time with "Chef" and hope the rest of dates go as smooth!!

7 Dates in 7 Days

The other night I was sitting with my Home Teacher and my roommates' Home Teacher and they were teaching us a lesson and so forth. After the lesson, like usual, they asked us if there was anything they could do for us. I was in a silly mood and JOKINGLY said something about them helping us to date more. Neither of us had been on a date in a long time. We talked about being single, dating, and so forth and they left. No big deal, right? WRONG!

The next night one of the HT's came over (my roommates and I were in our pj's and ready for bed--none of us expecting a guest). My roommate Camille tells me that HT is at the door with his roommate from Canada. What in the world??

HT sits down with Canadian roommate and proceeds to tell me that he has set in motion what he wants to call, "7 Dates in 7 Days" for me. (enter genuine shocked face) I had no clue what to say and felt like I was being punked or something. He goes on to say that he has already lined up 7 guys he knows to take me out. 7 guys, 7 days, 7 dates. All I had to do was say yes??? Of course I had to say yes. I had literally asked for it! (be careful what you ask for you just might get it!)

So starting tomorrow night I will begin my 7 dates in 7 days saga. I will be posting pictures and date info. Wish me luck as this could be hazardous to my health!

One Step At A Time

We all have a list of things we wish we didn't do, that we wish we did more, and so forth. I am slowly and systematically working on my list. Once I graduated from grad school I knew it was long overdue that I start getting into shape and losing some weight. So I joined my local Y and I am proud to say that I go on a regular basis (I can always do better).

The next thing that has been haunting me is my consumption of Diet Coke/Diet Pepsi. I have truly enjoyed them as my little splurge. I have known I needed to quit them for a long time but have lacked the will power. Last week I made the decision, the dye has been cast, I burned the ships, and I did it! I quit soda!

It has been one week free of any kind of soda and I know this is a good decision. Now for the next item on the list....

Modern Family Home Evening

This was how we had Family Home Evening tonight! I am just amazing at modern technology! Chelsea & Mike (Balitimore), Dani & Kevin (CA), Mom, Dad, Clay, & Camryn (CA), Ali (UT), Kati (San Diego), and Kylee (AZ). Thanks Oovo!

Lamb of God

Last night I went to a majestic concert of Rob Gardner's newest sacred work called, "Lamb of God" and I left changed! the "Lamb of God" is about the last week of Christ's life and His resurrection! If you get a chance to see this production don't miss it! If you want to hear the music you can find it at Spire Music.

One of my favorite songs of the night is called, "Sometime We'll Understand" and here are some lyrics that spoke to heart:

"Not now, but in the coming years,
It may not be when we demand,
We’ll read the meaning of our tears,
And there, sometime, we’ll understand

Why what we long for most of all
Eludes our open, pleading hand;
Why ever silence meets our call
Somewhere, sometime, we’ll understand.

So trust in God through all thy days;
Fear not, for He doth hold thy hand;
Though dark thy way, still sing and praise,
Sometime, sometime we’ll understand.

Sometime we’ll fall on bended knee,
And feel there, graven on His hand;
Sometime with tearless eyes we’ll see
What, here, we could not understand."

Love Story

Please watch this video. I love this story about love that is real and alive!

"No, I am not pregnant, I'm just fat!"

In the past few weeks at work I have been asked by 3 different clients (kids) if I am pregnant! Now I know I need to consider the sources, the fact that I was wearing a babydoll type shirt all 3 times, the fact that 4 women who work with me have recently had babies, 2 women just left of maternity leave, and the fact that I recently lost 10 lbs into consideration but really!!!

Lessons only Time Can Teach

Today was a typical morning at work. There were kids climbing fences to AWOL, kids cutting their arms b/c they don't know how to deal with their emotions, and kids getting ready for school dressing in their uniforms.

Today was a typical day at work. I am currently a TA for 11 students. These kids range in ages from 11-14 with varying degrees of grade levels. They all have behavior and emotional issues which make learning in their classroom that much more difficult. They have a great teacher who really does his best to keep them motivated, working, and organized.

Today I was just doing my thing but then I started to feel stressed and tired and some familiar feeling was nagging at me and I couldn't quite figure it out. There was this boy in the class who was just getting on everyone's nerves and he had already been kicked out of the classroom once for a "time-away" (3 min. outside the classroom door). This kid has so much energy he rocks back and forth during the day to calm himself down. He is an avid reader and loves to share random facts all throughout the day. It wasn't until the end of the school day that I realized what that familiar feeling that was eating up my stomach and causing me a headache.

It was the same feeling I used to feel with my brother Grant! I used to get easily frustrated with him and know that he couldn't help how he was reacting but I wished he could just "get it". I was a little shocked at the realization. This boy wasn't just some kid I come to work with every day. He is someone I love and get excited for and get sad about and so forth. I even get frustrated at him for not "getting it".

I would give anything to be able to do what I did today with my student with my little brother. I told my teacher that I needed a few minutes. I went into the staff lounge, I got a drink of water, I relaxed, calmed down, and said a quick prayer. Then I went back to class and helped him with the same math problem we had gone over multiple times. I smiled, he worked hard, and in the end he felt successful! I wish I had known better back then...

Today was a typical day except that today I miss my brother a lot!

Alternative Dating Styles

Often, being that I'm single and hang around single people, we get talking about dating, the complications, the drama, the "game" and all that jazz. I was talking to some friends and we were sharing our worst date scenarios. We were laughing and remembering... and then someone said something that struck a cord with me. It was something about what if we took looks off table completely when deciding who to date. (Now don't get me wrong I'm a firm believer in attraction and the importance it plays in a relationships). Interesting to think about right? So if looks were off the table what would you base your initial attraction on?

I don't know but it seems to me that people who aren't gorgeous or highly sought after for their beauty seem to rely on their resume or things they have done with their life. They start with what they are doing currently in their jobs or school etc. Then they share things like where they've traveled, things they've accomplished, their future plans etc.

Some people rely heavily on the "role" they play in a social setting such as, "the funny one", the "social butterfly", the "connector", the "I'll host a party at my place" or so forth. I wonder how these people would interact differently if all of a sudden they weren't allowed to fall back on their "role(s)"?

Then there's all sort of people who fall in between the "beautifuls" and the "brainiacs".

Sometimes I just wonder how things would be different in dating if beauty wasn't such a focus? I don't know that things would change much or that dating would be any better. Maybe it would just be different with an emphasis elsewhere. What do you think?

Good Things Come To Those Who Wait

I am a firm and passionate believer that good things come to those who wait! While I just recently wrote a blog post on how things are just things I have been thinking about some of the things I treasure most in my life currently and how long it has taken me to acquire some of them. Some of these things I could have bought on credit when I really wanted them but instead I waited and they, each one of them, quietly came into my life when I needed them the most! Here are just a few examples of the goodness in my life that was more than worth the wait!

I don't remember exactly when I first wanted to own a typewriter but it was sometime back at BYU when I was in my Creative Writing classes. I have always loved to write! I enjoy all sorts of venues for writing such as blogs, writing letters, typing letters, writing notes, writing music, etc.

I have a very old soul and enjoy things the old fashion way. I adore Jazz, sitting in a rocking chair and taking in the kids playing in the street, and I love typing letters on a typewriter. Then one day I met a man who loved to write as well. He just happened to have multiple typewriters so I borrowed one of his for months at a time. I kept telling myself I was going to buy myself a typewriter soon but never seemed to actually do it.

The other day this same incredible guy showed up at my house with a typewriter just for me! He bought for my graduation gift and it was love at first sight. I giggle just thinking about how much I adore this little sleek green typewriter! It has taken me a few years but it was definitely worth the wait!

Catherine

Have you ever circled around someones life to find that you should have been friends years ago? Well that is the story of Catherine Papworth & I. Catherine wrote about how our lives have swirled around each other for years in her post here but I quote her a bit here:

"Let me tell you a little about Kylee and my background. I was born and spent my childhood in San Diego...she served her mission in San Diego. I moved to Oregon at age 11 and lived there til college...she moved to Oregon (on the other side of Portland from me) at age 9 and lived there til her senior year of high school. We both went to BYU. Because she's musical and thus meets lots of musical people, we know a ridiculous amount of the same people from our time at BYU....people that we both spent an insane amount of time with so...it's just crazy that we never met in this time period. Then she moved to Boston. Okay, I never moved to Boston. I almost went to college in Boston, though...I was seriously seriously on my way there when I got my acceptance letter into the BYU school of music... But, I did go to Boston after my freshman year in college...So, if that weren't enough, she just happens to choose to go to grad school in Arizona and move into a neighborhood literally 0.5 miles from my house...She was also in a ward with several people including one of my only friends when I first moved here, Camille. We didn't initially meet through Camille, but now we have lots of mutual friends...and I find this to be just great...And then [one night] we talked and discovered that she knew me from Noteworthy and that we knew a lot of the same people...Somehow, because I'm lucky and we both love music and because people are brought into your life when you need them (I think), she's become an integral part of my life over the last few months. If God makes all of us with some sort of chemical compound, a formula of intelligence and heart and talent and gifts and spirit, then I believe that Kylee and I started with the same base."

And so it goes with friendships that you never knew you were waiting for but once you find them you discover they were worth the wait!

MY car Kirby

I was 28 years old when I bought my first car! I know that seems ludicrous but it is entirely true. I do have to mention that I shared a family car with my sister for years, then I used that same family car myself for a while, then I moved to Boston for a few years and didn't need a car so I had cars but none of them were mine.

It was a crazy and hectic day when I bought my Toyota Corolla. I bought her from the LDS church as she was a retired "missionary" car. She wasn't the car of my dreams or even my choice but she was what they had and she was all mine. It has been over 2 years now and I absolutely love my Kirby.

When I first got my car I named her Bella b/c she was sparkly gold and a princess but then we all know what happened to the world when the Twilight Series hit! No longer could I call her Bella and she was given the name of the car I learned to drive in--Kirby!

"Ella Mae" My(very old but intensely loved )Piano

I love this piano so much sometimes I think it might be a sin! I started playing the piano when I was about 7 years old and right away I hated it. It would be a long ten years of struggle with my mom to continue practicing and taking lessons. I don't know exactly when but at some point along the way I started writing music (I think around age 14) and it was then I first desired to have a piano of my own. I know wanting a piano is like wanting a horse as a little girl. No one can afford to buy a piano! So my heart waited and dreamed and waited. Then one day, when I least expected it, my dream came true!

I adopted this piano 1 year and about 5 months ago and I can't imagine my life without her! I don't think a day goes by that I don't play for a least a few minutes (some days much more). She has been one amazing addition to my life. I have written 4 new songs on her and have been inspired many nights while playing her to write more! I have loved having music nights in my home when she comes to life. She fills my heart with much joy.

My Beautiful Niece Eden Jean Shields Strayer

My family has been anticipating the next generation for a few years now and we are more than excited that little E has joined our family. She was more than worth the wait. The only problem is little E and her parents live soooo far away! It's really just too far from all of us to bear but I guess they are doing great things so we put up with them. That and the fact that they are troopers and come to visit quite a bit!

And so you see these are just a few examples in my life of good things that came with patience and waiting. I truly believe and have faith that good things do come to those who wait!

To Be A Friend

I was talking with a friend the other day and she was talking to me about friendships. She gave me some very interesting feedback about my approach to friends. I love seeing myself through someone else's eye. After telling me a bit about what she noticed about me concerning friendship she asked me how I see/view friendships in my life. I felt like sharing a bit about what I told her here.

To me friendship is patient, kind, not puffed up, not rushed, never forced, and always giving. There is something so incredible about the perfect timing of an unexpected but dearly needed friend. To be a friend takes work (like most things worth doing in life). Friends are your family when you can't have yours. Friends are the keepers of your laughter and tears. They are the ones who see you at your best and worst. They love you where you are at and sometimes they love you into becoming better. They inspire you to explore new ideas, places, and things. They warn you of danger, keep you balanced, and at times let you know when you are completely wrong. They are your cheer leaders, your coach, your fan, and your critic. They give you wings to fly and blow wind in your sails!

Sometimes friends can take advantage of you. Sometimes you have to let certain friends go. Sometimes friends have the ability to hurt you the most because they know you well and know what buttons to push. Sometimes friendships fade organically and other times you have to set a boundary.

It has never been hard for me to make friends in my life. I love people! I love discovering new cultures, new ideas, new places, and new stories. Some of my favorite moments in life are in meeting new people who I know are destined to become some of my closest friends. It's the moments on the brink of new discovery and excitement that I treasure as much as the friends that I have held dear to me for years!

I had never really thought a lot about friendships, or at least the way I make and keep friends, until I was asked the other day. Here are some of my ideas:

(1) First love God, then love yourself, and then love others. It doesn't work any other way! Because I don't feel the need to compare, judge, or be catty, I am open to so many people. I thrive on diversity and people telling their story. When you love yourself first then you have the ability to love others!

(2) Maintaining friendships takes patience. In my friendships I know that people are busy. I also know that if they need me in their life they will let me know (or I will simply ask them). So it doesn't help to be demanding, bug them if they don't return my calls/texts, or even to feel discouraged if I don't hear from them for a while. They most likely have someone else in their lives they are talking to or turning to instead of me. This is okay with me because in due time they will come around. Being a patient friend is important and in the end friends know they can return to your listening ears and smiling heart!

(3) There is no reason for jealously in friendships. I may be strange but I truly don't understand much about jealously. I don't understand this emotion. In friendships people give or their time freely, and out of love, so each interaction is a choice and a gift. When someone chooses to spend time with another it doesn't take away from you or your friendship. In fact it just may deepen and expand your friendship with them.

(4) Friendship is not selfish. It is like other transactions You give and receive or you receive and then give. Either way both are very important and when one side of the transaction fails the enter friendship is in jeopardy. Toxic friendships are ones where someone is always dumping on the other or when someone is needy and only thinking of themselves. Healthy friendships thrive on wanting to give to each other just because. The very act of giving of ones times, talents, etc is enough!

(5) Friendship is all about timing! I think people underestimate this key piece of friendship. Some friendships are only meant for a moment in time while other friendships are meant to last forever. If you only seek forever friends you miss out on so many wonderful experiences, stories, adventures, and so forth. If you only seek out friends in the moment then miss out on the depth of memories, shared heartache, and watching someone change right in front of your eyes. Both kinds of friendships are important!

(6) Validation is key to a great friendship! It has been confirmed to me time and time again that validation is so important in any kind of relationship! It's important in friendship to give sincere and specific compliments or validation. It's important to let your friends know how you feel about them. When friends have confidence in each other they really be there for each other no matter what happens in their lives.

(7) It's all about the little things! Like most things in life it's the little things that really matter in the end. Little texts to say you care go a long way. Calling someone to wish them well, talk about their day, or just to say you're thinking of them really do matter. The more you listen to your friend the more you understand them and their wishes, desires, dreams. This makes it easier to validate them. It shouldn't be too hard to give a gift that matters, write a letter that is genuine, or make time in your busy schedule to spend with them. Theses little pieces of validation with make or break a friendship.

I'm sure there is more but for now that will suffice! I am so grateful for the many wonderful friends that I have. I am grateful for what each of them taught and continue to teach me today!

Two Years!

Can you believe that I've been living in Arizona for 2 years! The part I never imagined is that I am still here. Well, technically I did move from Mesa to Gilbert recently. Oh Arizona, I don't know why my heart has this undertone of undulation with you but be patient with me and eventually I'll figure it out.

Here are some highlights of the past years in no particular order:

• Started Graduate School--Graduated from Graduate School
• I lived in Africa for 6 weeks
• The mystery Migraines begin...
• My little sister came to visit for Spring Break
• I adopted a Baby Grand Piano
• We did a 10 year anniversary run in memory of Grant
• I wrote some new songs.
• I worked (survived) on the San Carlos Apache Reservation for the summer
• Went to Disneyland with some incredible friends
• I started having Music Nights
• I had a wicked awesome birthday to remember!
• My Grandma B died
• My beautiful niece, Eden Jean Shields Strayer was born!!!
• I went to Glasgow, Scotland/ Dublin, Ireland/ Edinburgh, Scotland/ N England
• Stayed in a sweet cabin with friends in Colorado
• Got eaten alive by mosquitoes at Fossil Springs
• I completed my very own sewing project!

I am very grateful for all the people in my life, all the adventures I've made, the dreams I've dared to make come true, and the lessons I've learned along the way!

Things Are Just Things

I have an amazing best friend these days and I might be biased except I have an actual awesome story that proves that he's wonderful. My friend Hunter wrote of an incident that happened a few weekends ago on his BLOG.

I am continuously learning things from Brandon but one lesson is that things are just things and we don't need to become attached. He gives things away to people to make sure he doesn't become attached.

The irony is that for years I've been struck with wanderlust and could put just about everything I owned in my toyota corolla and drive wherever I lived. Like a turtle I carried all my belongings with me which is to say I didn't have much. Since meeting Brandon I have acquired a few things (piano/typewriter) I can't live without and would be hard pressed to give away. Still I like the idea that things are just things.

Hold My Heart

I am always thinking about hearts! So it's no surprise that lately I've been wondering about what it takes to hold somebody else's heart of for me to let someone hold my heart. I consider it a honor when someone lets me hold their heart or at least attempt. There is something almost sacred about those moments.

I wonder sometimes, "Does anybody know how to hold my heart?"

Invisible Clubs

The other day a co-worker of mine was zoning out and I recognized that look all too well. One of the boys at the RTC said some comment to him to which he replied, "No, I was just thinking about my sister."

His sister had just recently been killed in a car accident on her way to come see my co-workers new born baby. He had to return to work too early b/c he is the only one working in his family and didn't want to lose his job.

I looked over at him and the sadness that seemed to cling to him and I was terribly saddened that he was now part of the club. The club that is exclusive only to siblings who have had a brother or sister die. This is one of the invisible clubs, a club you never thought you would be a part of, and you never want anyone else to join. And yet since I've become a member of this invisible club my hear aches at how many people have involuntarily joined.

Today I woke up with a headache and laid in bed for a long time hoping and praying it wouldn't turn into a migraine. I get headaches a lot since I moved to Arizona and somehow I became a part of the invisible migraine club. I hate this club! I get so angry at my head when I have migraines b/c I have no control of my body. I sometimes go blind in one eye, I almost always get nauseous and puke, and most of the time I lose hours of my day. When I first stared getting migraines I did a lot of research and post on Facebook etc and was amazed at how many people I knew were also part of the invisible migraine club. It's awful to think that your pain is shared by so many.

There are good invisible clubs also such as my love of writing club, my old school appreciation of great jazz music club, and many more. These invisible clubs connect people through their pain or their passions. When you meet someone who belongs to you club you can almost instantly connect to them. In my good invisible clubs I love to collect members and I can relate to them as like-minded people. In my never-wanted-to-be-a-part-of-you invisible clubs it is almost painful when I meet people who belong to the club.

In my sorrow and in my happiness I am so grateful for my human connections to others!

In what invisible clubs do you belong?

Do you think that some relationships run their course?

I have been wondering if sometimes people are brought into our lives or we are brought into their lives for a very specific reason or purpose. Then when that purpose or reason comes full circle the rest is up to us. I wonder if sometimes it runs its course and we just prolong those relationships. Maybe we hold on longer than was ever needed or intended--maybe our human emotions or feeling cloud the real reason we were connected in the first place. Maybe we need to let go or asked to be released?

What do you think?

The Difference a Day Makes

Today I went to work and I loved every minute of it! The kids were fun to be around and the activity for the afternoon was roller skating. I spent the majority of the time teaching and helping the cutest 5 yr old and 4 yr old how to roller skate. I don't think I stopped smiling all day. This might sound cheesy but when you contrast it with day job yesterday it almost seemed magical!

Enter how yesterday played out...

This summer I started working at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) where kids come who are on their last chances. These kids are coming from the "system" or from jail. They have behavior (bx) issues or mental health issues. I am what's called a Direct Care Professional aka DCP. In other words I work directly with the kids, help them to program, go to school, etc.

I should have know that Friday the 13th would not be a good day at work but I had no idea what was about to happen. This week I'm what's called a "Float". This means I'm not assigned a dorm or a classroom. I take kids from place to place, from class to nursing for their meds, run errands, and most importantly I help keep the kids safe. If there is a restraint or AWOL I am there to assist in any way. Being the float can be nice at times but not yesterday!

I started off my shift by talking to one of my co-workers who had just returned to work after a few days. He and his girlfriend had recently had a baby. My co-workers sister (25) was driving out to see his baby when she was hit and killed by a car. He had spent the last few days planning her funeral and being strong for everyone else in his family. I've thought about him lately and wanted him to know he was in my thoughts and prayers. Then the day began as usual...

As a staff we had just transitioned the kids to their classrooms around 8:30 am. I was sitting in the courtyard outside the "comfort room" (seclusion-padded walled-room) trying to get kids to go to class. Mind you it was already around 112 degrees outside so I was already sweating. After about 15 minutes of school one of our boys runs out of class climbs the fence and somehow gets onto the roof. This is a problem. This is an even bigger problem b/c he is on suicide watch. So long story short he is talked into coming down and we all think that will be the highlight ( or lowlight) of the day--boy were we wrong.

Next came the 4 AWOLS, 2 that actually left the grounds, and 2 that attempted but failed (there would be 9 more AWOL attempts before my shift ended). Again the temperature was around 115 at this point in the day so you can imagine how hot it was for the staff and kids. While all this was going I was involved in a restraint of a girl, then another girl found kid scissors and cut her arm, all at the same time. So once I was out of the restraint, I started handing out gloves to staff, keeping my eye on other kids and so forth. At that point we had 7 staff in the school courtyard.

By the time the end of my shift rolled (3:00 pm) around I might as well have been showering in my sweat! I was exhausted, caught off guard by all the commotion, and relieved that I would be leaving soon. I had definitely earn my money's worth for the day (and then some).

The silver lining to my day happen later that night when I was contrasting my life (and some of my current hardships) with the lives of the kids I work with and I truly couldn't complain! The Lord has blessed me immensely. My best friend came over, we chatted, and then I talked to him about my life, he talked to me about his life, and in the end I was so grateful for his listening ears and heart. I went to bed feeling renewed. I chanted to myself, "tomorrow is a new day!"

An Open Letter to...A Deceased Person I Wish I Could Talk To

Dear Leland Grant (Gus) Shields--aka Grandpa-

I sometimes just want to go to your house and see you sitting in your chair in the living room watching BYU and laughing. I miss you at random times and during different situations.

I was playing with Eden the other day, Chelsea's beautiful baby girl, and I was doing "A Mouse Looking For A House" and suddenly I miss you. So I continued singing to her and was a little sad that she never got to meet you.

I remember wanting to read you letters so bad when It became my turn to be a missionary but you weren't alive to write to me and I was sad for that missed opportunity.

Sometimes when I'm around all the family I just miss you and your jokes. Sometimes when I do something silly I say, "Way to go Leland" just like you used to do.

Basically I just want you to know you are missed, you are loved, and you have quite the legacy!

I love you grandpa and can't wait to see you and Grant again someday!

Love Lots, Kylee

Friendship

Lately I've been thinking a lot about friendships. They are so unique because they aren't like any other kind of relationship. They aren't family and they aren't your girlfriend/boyfriend. Yet, it would seem, at times they are the keepers of your heart, the ones who hold your tears, share your dreams, and the people you who make you who you are. They are the ones you live with, cry with, laugh with, and sometimes struggle with.

There is time when you've been friends for so long that you forget how you met or that it even matters and you can't seem to remember a time when you weren't in each others lives. It's then your realize you are lucky. You have the real deal.

And then there's that moment when you meet someone fantastic and you know you want to become their friend--it's just a matter of when and how! I lOVE that feeling. I love getting to know someone new, tapping into their soul, attempting to see the world through their eyes even if just for a moment.

There's also the friends that you hang around so much you might take them for granted except for every now and again you step back and realize you are so blessed to have them in your life. When they introduce you as their friend you still get chills. They are the ones you just might trust enough to let down your guard. They just might get to hold your tears. They may get to see you at your worst and best moments. And if you are lucky enough they will feel the same way towards you!

I am constantly amazed at how blessed I have been in my life for such amazing friends. If ever I wonder if God loves me all I have to do is look around at the wicked awesome friends He's placed in my life at the perfect time to know the answer.

So to all my friends, in all your arrays, know that I am grateful for your imprints and impressions on my heart. I am a better and more whole person as a result of your friendship!

An Incredible Journey out of Broken Dreams

I was having a conversation with my new (she is gorgeous) roommate the other day about life. Okay, honestly I was dumping on her-which I try to avoid like the plague-but she was a great listener. In the middle of our conversation she was saying that she felt inadequate in her life compared to mine. She listed things she knew I'd done or accomplished and then compared them to her life (she's 4 years younger than I). I sat there for a moment and then I shared with her something I don't think I share enough and maybe haven't ever shared on this blog. So here I go...

Most of my amazing travels, accomplishments, goals I've reached etc. have happened over the last 5 years of my life. Most of my friends since I started this blog in 2006 only know the "Make it Happen" me. The Kylee who moved across the country, started traveling, writing a book, and so forth. They don't know the me that existed before I moved to Boston.

I think I've always been ambitious (it runs in the fam) but there was a time (2005) when I had graduated from college, didn't get hired as a seminary teacher, didn't know what to do with my life, and I wasn't married. In essence my plan had failed and I didn't know what to do. I had always thought by the time I was 25 I would be at least married if not married with a child. I was at a loss of what to do. From my broken dreams/plans came my desire to not "hang out" in life and make things happen.

So basically what I saying is I started going places and doing things not out of a sense of how "cool" of a person I am but out of sense of necessity. My dreams/plans/hopes had been unrealized and it became imperative to make new plans. Thus my life motto: Make it Happen was born.

I still want to get married, have kids, and spend my day using my cultivated talents and skills raising my kids and building the kingdom but in the meantime I'm going to go out and do my darndest to rock the boat and make things happen in my life

Drowning Impact Awareness Month (AZ)

August in Arizona is Drowning Impact Awareness Month I'm very excited to share with you what this means and why I LOVE it! To me the topic of kids drowning is very personal as my brother drowned at the age of 15 and irrevocable changed my life forever.

I believe in understanding the impact of drownings and more importantly have to prevent them in the future. I am tired of hearing tragedies that may have been prevented with a little more information and awareness of drowning. I will be wearing a purple ribbon all month and invite any who wants to join me!

Below is the Press Release about this much needed Awareness Month:

Arizona Unites to Wear Purple Ribbons and Prevent Child Drownings

“Drowning Impact Awareness Month” is Arizona’s Most Unified Prevention Effort

PHOENIX, Ariz. (July 21, 2010) – The numbers are grim: between 2000 and 2007, 243 Arizona children drowned. Drowning is the second leading cause of injury-related death for all children in Arizona between 2000 and 2007, and top cause for children between one and five. To date this year in Maricopa County alone, nine of the 55 children involved in water-related incidents have died.

Going into August, the risk is likely to increase. Scorching weather and the changes in routine that come with back-to-school can cause distraction for parents. And in as little as four to six minutes under water, significant neurological injury can occur to a child.

But, Arizona is a state of resourceful and determined citizens – it takes toughness to live in 115 degree weather, after all. And a simple, tiny purple ribbon is a symbol of our resilience and determination.

Arizonans unite this August, with the Seventh Annual “Drowning Impact Awareness Month” effort. The statewide purple ribbon campaign encourages awareness and action, and is coordinated by Phoenix Children’s Hospital.

This year, the campaign will include: ␣

--More than 40,000 purple ribbons already distributed to supporters statewide.

--Formal proclamations signed by Governor Brewer and Mayors across the state, many presented at local Council meetings.

--More than 1,153 purple ribbons tied in the trees in front of Phoenix Children’s Hospital, to represent the number of children involved in water related incidents in Maricopa County since January of 2000.

--Banners and signs, donated and produced by SRP Safety Connection, hanging in public safety

buildings, libraries, La-Z-Boy Furniture Galleries stores, and YMCA’s throughout Maricopa County.

--Involvement, support and educational events from businesses, schools, and the Drowning

Prevention Coalition of Arizona.