Saturday, January 14, 2012

...But I Prefer Not To Be

It is only fair in response to my blog post, "I'd Rather Be Alone" to write the other side of the coin. While I learned and continue to learn how to be happy and single the truth is—I prefer not to be.

I have never been a big dater. Never one of those girls who got asked out a lot. Don't get me wrong I've had my fair share of dates—good & bad. As a result I haven't had a lot of boyfriends in my 16 years of dating (oh my heavens that is a lot of years of dating—blah).

Some of my boyfriends broke up with me but most I broke up with them. Some ended on amicable terms and some not so much. When I look back over my relationships I've been a part of—some romantic and some best friends—there are some small, yet significant, things I miss a lot when I'm single.

One of my boyfriends used to twist my ring in circles when he was holding my hand.

One time I told my best guy friend that he couldn't talk to me at during the week of finals (I needed to focus and got a little crazy around finals). I got home from school and there was a beautiful bouquet of roses on the table from him. He was just letting me know he cared and wished me well on my finals.

One of my boyfriends could sit with me and laugh, talk, tell stories, for hours. We didn't need to be "doing" something all the time. We thoroughly entertained ourselves.

One of best guy friends had this ability to be so present. He was an incredible listener. I learned to be okay with silence around him.

I had a boyfriend who loved to take walks with me. Sometimes he would hold my hand but other times he would just walk next to me and we would talk.

One of my best guy friends would sit down at the piano and sing with me for hours. It didn't matter how bad the day was once we got singing, and his family would join us, life was better.

These are just a few but I'm sure you get the point and relate in your own way.

When I'm single I miss physical touch. I miss having someone who is invested in me. I miss laughing—the kind you do with someone you feel comfortable with. I miss just being with someone and not needing to say anything. I miss having someone to report to at the end of the day. I miss having a partner in crime or someone with whom to schedule events. I miss being invested in them. I miss finding ways to make them smile, small gifts that matter to them. I miss getting all dressed/dolled up for date nights. There's a lot of things I miss being single.

So lest anyone reading my blog think I am pro single and anti relationship I hope this post helped clarify.

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