Thursday, March 30, 2006

Wants vs. Needs

"Oh, the differences that often are between everything we want
and what we really need"
(Nicole Nordeman, "Woven & Spun").
What a great line from an inspiring song! It's funny this thing inside of us that sometimes is called our desires...We have a hard time differentiating between wants and needs. Sometimes we aren't so off base.

You desperately desire the approval of someone else but find they really aren't the person you put on that pedestal, and realize all you really needed was to be noticed. You connect with someone new and want to tell them everything, and you do, and it's too much, and you realize all you really needed was to be loved. You want a better job so you can make more money so you can go out to fancy restraunts with your wealthy friends, but realize you don't like the food at those places anyway-all you really needed was the ability to buy yourself healthy food. You go out and get new clothes, style your hair different, put on more makeup than usual, pinch your cheeks (for that healthy glow they're always talking about), put on a pair of heels, and you realize your feet hurt, you feel like a clown, and your hair (that you spent forever on) looks like it always does- when all you really needed was for someone to tell you you're beautiful. You find yourself wanting to tell everyone all the amazing things you've accomplished and really no one cares and you realize all you need is someone to listen to you.

And the list goes on. I guess living in poverty (that's what they call it in AmeriCorps) has me seeing this a little more poignant these days. I find that I'm faced with the question "What do I really need?" more than I used to. I'd like to say that it helps me to realize how blessed I am- and it does, but I'm still learning and growing like the rest.

How do you keep a balance between your wants and your needs?

Lean toward the Son

The other day in our staff meeting one of my co-workers was sitting on the window sill while the rest of us were at the "round table". Another one of my co-workers asked her why she was sitting there. Her reply has had me thinking for a few days now, "Today I feel kind of like a flower and I need to lean toward the sun," she said smiling.

How oft do we find ourselves in this same situation. Drained, stressed, lonely, tired, beaten, name it, kinda like a wilting flower. Yet I wonder how often our answer is to lean toward the Son. And how true to this analogy are we really. I am terrible with plants and they have to be wilting or dying before I notice and give them sunlight. Do we treat our souls the same way? Do we wait for SONlight only when we are wilting or dying?

Flowers are smart, they lean toward the sun. They are attracted to light. In fact most bugs, vegetation, and trees etc lean toward the sun. Why then do we, as humans, tend to avoid the Son at all costs? We seem less and less attracted by the Son and more and more attracted to Darkness. Interesting.

I am not perfect, but I do have one small bit of advice to shed on this subject:"Lead, kindly light."

Monday, March 27, 2006

Luke, K. Marie, Kathryn, Amy, Cheryl (Amy & Cheryl are going to my future rommates?? hopefully), my sister Chelsea and her husband Mike, and Merrill (Amy's friend?? visiting from AZ).

Micheal Adam, meeeeee, Ami, and K. Marie chillin.

Going somewhere?

ha ha

"How great thou ART!"

I decided to introduce the gang to the Museum of Fine Art (MFA) I make a habit of this place and this is my favorite place in the museum. Sorry the picture is so yellow but they won't let you use a yeah

Man, I love these ladies!

Michael Adam bustin' some moves

Tim, Tara (K. Marie's friend from AZ), Seth, and K. Marie at an African Dance Party.

Magic Bullet Party (one of many to come)

The rest of the gang (marie w/ Micheal Adam's parents)

The gang

Amy and K. Marie on the roof of the famous Omni Parker House (where Jaqueline Kennedy was proposed to). We had a great breakfast here with my friend Michael Adam and his parents (in town visiting from Virginia).

I just love Hay Market...more pictures of this to come.

Mary, Amy, Mua, and K. Marie.. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

My St. Patrick's crazy hair!

ps. Plexi glass works much better...Marie we have food you don't have to eat the ferns...

Ta-Da!! The finished Turtle Terranium. Now all we need is a turtle. Funny thing is that it isn't breeding season for turtles so the are pretty much impossible to find (unless you want to pay $90 for a Greek one).

So it wasn't the best idea to put real glass in.

Marie and I decided to take this 1973 tv and turn it into a home for our future turtle, Brigham. This project will be lovingly called the "Turtle Terranium" thus.

DYI Project (do-it-yourself):

Monday, March 20, 2006

Invincibility (or not)?

I feel that ever since my little brother's sudden death that I realize how fast life can change in just a moment. I tend to make sure I appreciate people in the moment, say thank you, and mend any bad realtions...but I still am amazed at how very simple small moments can make very huge deep impacts.

Case in point: Today I decided to go across the street from where I work to get some lunch. No bit deal right? I do that a lot. So I head outside and I look both ways (thanks for teaching me that one mom) and I start to run across the street (yes, this is the Boston way). Somehow I trip and this is no dainty trip,no. I sprew across the asphalt, hit my knee, both hands and my right shoulder very hard. The hands and knee had blood and the shoulder got bruised quite a bit, but this is not the worst part. Just as I'm turning over I hear this LOUD screech. Yes, you guessed it, there was a very fast moving car trying to stop from running me over. Fortunately for me, it stopped just in time. I don't think I ever want to get that close to a bumper of a car again.

So yes, besides all bumps and bruises I still got my lunch, ha ha.

Anyway, I was shaking (and even now writing my shoulder is aching) and thinking how differently that scenerio could have played out. Grateful to be alive, grateful to know that today is new day, and so grateful to have so many wonderful people in my life.

Don't forget to tell those you care about how you feel. Today is as good of a day as any. You never know when your lunch date may be a car's bumper.

ps the shoulder is now throbbing and very hurty...but the pain reminds me I'm still quite alive and all together well.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Green is Good

Happy St. Patrick's Day. This is a big day here in Boston. Hope you all are wearing your green! Green is good!

Thursday, March 16, 2006

On my mind...

A favorite artist of mine, Kalai, has this to say about relationships

"I've been known to take my time
I've been told that I"m alright
I don't know if you're my kind
All I know is that you're on my mind"

This is so true to life. Not just in romantic relationships, but in life. We all want to be needed-to be loved. Lately there's been a few people that are constantly on my mind. Just thinking about them lifts me, empowers me, and bring a great big smile to my face.

My sister Chelsea is one of those people. She truly inspires me! I hope to be more like her when I "grow up". The way she treats her wonderuf husband is so beautiful. They fill their home with love, the gospel , and mostly light. To be with them is so inspiring.

Another person on my mind a lot lately is my Grandpa, Leland "Gus" Grant Shields. Although he died a few years ago he very much is alive inside me. My grandpa left me full of his words of wisdom and his desire to do good in the eyes of God. A great man who aimed to please God first, then his family, and then so many others.

Not a day goes by that I don't think of my family, emails, phones calls, and letters just aren't enough. I always just want to be with them. The hard part of life is that it just goes on and on come what may. I don't know how I as so blessed with the greatest parents ever! I love my sisters and brother (any my angel) so very much. "I stand all amazed at the love...."

There are a few others, and hopefully you already know who you are, but you get my point. I believe that part of my happiness and successes in life are built upon the love of those who fill my mind and encourage me to be my best. And so I thank you.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

This one is for you Alan Sackett.
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Ivy Portwood this picture is for you. I love you girl!
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After I survived the almost death fall I decided to stay a little while in the tree.
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Peek-a-boo. Do you see me?? Okay so I just about died climbing this tree. I was trying to climb it like I was rock climbing and so I didn't have balanced weight. I was holding onto two different branches with both my hands and the branch that my left hand was holding (higher up the tree then my right hand) broke. This sent my body falling from the tree head first except I was lucky that all my weight was caught by my right hand (thank goodness that branch didn't brake). I survived, but did some damage to my hand. I guess that's the price you pay when you climb a tree. I wouldn't take it back for the world. I love climbling trees!
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I have this great love for trees. On this particular day I saw so many climbing trees that I just couldn't pass them up.
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How I love my sis!
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Someone caught the photographer at work. Don't worry folks I'm practically professional after serving a mission on the temple grounds at San Diego. (They should give you a license in photography after you serve there for how many pictures you end up taking). I do believe I was taking engagement pictures for this cute couple at this particular moment.
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In the words of some country singer "I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean"
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The lapping I was talking about earlier
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I'll take one of those please with a side of ocean...
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Holy Mansion Batman!
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