Okay—so recently whenever the subject of dating, singleness, etc. has come up it never fails that someone (usually a male) tells me something similar to this phrase, "well, I think you don't date much because you might come across as intimidating"
I have a tendency to think, when something like this is said, "that is such a cop-out"
However, and this is biased, I don't think I'm intimidating at all. People who know me don't think that either. If I somehow come across, or if my resume makes me seem intimidating, once you actually talk with me you see I'm just a complete nerd.
So—since intimidation is a perception by others I am genuinely curious about how someone can become more open or come across less intimidating??
Ready?? Go.
6 comments:
I've been told the same thing and it irritates me because inherent in the statement is the idea that I need to change myself in order to be palatable to the opposite sex. I am not comfortable with that notion.
So, if you find a solution, please share.
If someone doesn't feel like they could live up to your standards, I could see you (and anyone else for that matter) being "intimidating." If someone tells you that, you should take it as a compliment that they wouldn't feel worthy of you.
Maybe plan something "nerdy" to do and invite them to join. You might need to do more of the inviting because if you are intimidating to them they will be to worried/afraid to ask you and you'll have to start the conversation or suggest a date idea to do together. If they see that you are interested in you then they might be more apt to push their insecurities aside and get to know you.
Just some thoughts. Not sure if they are an answer though.
I think its a HUGE excuse! I think guys don't like girls that have it together cause they don't want to "settle down". I had one of my best guy friend who i trust infinitely say to me that I'm not the dating type, I'm the marrying type. I took that as a huge compliment and if I have to trade all the dating crap to just get to the guys that are serious, its worth the wait! But I'm going on waiting 7 yrs so far with no date! Lol
I think its a HUGE excuse! I think guys don't like girls that have it together cause they don't want to "settle down". I had one of my best guy friend who i trust infinitely say to me that I'm not the dating type, I'm the marrying type. I took that as a huge compliment and if I have to trade all the dating crap to just get to the guys that are serious, its worth the wait! But I'm going on waiting 7 yrs so far with no date! Lol
After high school a few guys told me that they were REALLY intimidated by me and my best friend. (2 girls over 6 feet tall who always went everywhere together). I can see how that could be intimidating. They also said that they didn't feel that was any more. Once we got to know each other better they didn't feel that way so much.
I think that all you can do is just be yourself and hope that people are willing to spend the time to get to know you and get over it!
You are wonderful!
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