The Hardest Holiday

Maybe it's because even though people are scrambling to fill wicker baskets with candy you can't deny that this is the time of year to think of Christ, His birth, His life, His death, and most importantly His resurrection. Maybe it's because it's so close to my parents wedding anniversary. Maybe it's because this time of year takes me back to the time I fell apart inside the Garden Tomb desperate for comfort. I don't know exactly what it is but for the past almost 8 years Easter is the hardest holiday for me.

I think it really has to do with the little things. Like when stores start to have their Easter shoe sales, when the Spring dresses start popping up, and when jelly beans (which are hard to find throughout the year) are in abundance. They all remind me of my family. All the Easter egg colorings, all the mornings waking up to see what the Easter Bunny brought us in our baskets. These little things remind me of all the new Easter dresses my mom made us girls or bought us and all the family pictures. Even after all these years I can remember those Easter pictures of all of us dressed up.

And so when most people think that Christmas, the death day anniversary, or his birthday are hardest--and those days might be for some--it's Easter for me. Every year I think I'll be okay. I try to surround myself with friends, spend time with family, or call them, but really it just hurts. Easter has me longing for Grant more than any time of year. It's during Easter that I can't help but be so thankful for my family and the righteous choices my parents made so we are an eternal family. On this Easter Holiday I find myself overwhelmed with love for my Heavenly Father and His Jesus Christ. In tears I find myself indebted with gratitude for the Resurrection--my gateway to hope and many more family "pictures" to come.