Recently, I was asked a question I've been asked at least 13 times (that was for you Brandon) okay more like a hundred. "So what do you want in a relationship?" Usually I just say something like a good man who loves me and I love him. I don't go into too much detail. I was never a list maker when I was young, I don't really have a type. I have dated a variety of guys across the spectrum.
However, this time I was asked a new answer bubbled to the surface and came out of my mouth. I said something to the fact that I want to be in a relationship long enough to get to the point where we have to work.
I love love. I am a super fan of people actually finding another person who loves them and the love is returned. I love the feelings that you get in the beginning of a relationship—when you are unsure of everything but feeling so much. I love the "honeymoon" stage of a relationship where you look past another's flaws and focus on the here and now.
BUT...
The part of the relationship I love the most is when all of that is over, when the friends/roommates aren't around, when it just the two of you and you have concerns, issues, red flags, to discuss. I love those raw, real, moments of communication. I love them because being willing to work with someone in a relationship means you truly love them. It is easy to quite. It is easy to walk away. It is easy to shine the light on someone else' flaws in order to feel better about leaving.
Working on a relationship means it is worth working on. To me, these days, that is what I am most looking for in a relationship—the work!
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5 comments:
Oh Kylee, you have it soooo right here. Everyone worries about what will happen when that "honeymoon" stage is over, but that is when a relationship just begins to get good.
^ What does that jokester know?!
I agree (even though I don't think I've ever been to that part of the relationship).
^UM, that jokester knows a lot and you, Tyson, would be wise to listen to his advice for you! He's been married to a very difficult woman for 24 years, and has raised to the best of his ability a hard-headed son.
Thanks Kylee, for letting us high jack your comments!
Susan Pyle
Love the comments and validation!
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