Monday, March 19, 2012

The Art of Self Sabatoge

I was huddled in a corner of the SDSU track field (above a parking garage) in torrential rain and strong gusts of wind trying to figure out when my sister was going to be doing Triple Jump for UVU. I was on the phone w/ my mom and she was telling me that Alexa's coaches wanted her to scratch out of Triple Jump. I was confused and upset.

Then I spoke with a friend of hers and he told me that Ali best triple jump is around 36 and SDSU's sand pit is around 36. So her coaches wanted her to scratch b/c if she doesn't PR (jump the best she has ever) she won't even make the sand. My sister heard what they said and decided to jump anyway. I looked at her friend and asked him why? He smiled at me and said, "Kylee, she knows that in order to make the sand she will PR and that will force her to jump her best."

It was like a light exploded in my head. I have been thinking a lot about self sabotage, limiting ourselves, etc. I have talked with a lot of my friends who are trying to figure out things in their lives (and mine). It seems that they are almost afraid to be successful. They don't know how to live their dreams. They are so quick to limit what they are capable of doing to what they are familiar with.

I have been thinking lately of how I am looking down the triple jump lane in my life. Do I see the sand and fear the gap or do I see the sand and have faith that I will make it?


Nicole said...

This is absolutely my life right now! Thank you for posting, Kylee dear. I needed that.

Nicole said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Diana said...

I am a pro at self sabotage! I have been working on changing the language I use with myself so that I don't talk myself out of things or lose before I begin. We (myself and I) recently had a conversation centering around how I want to be a successful writer and then deciding to go for it. I have talked myself out of it for so long, it was hard to get going at first, but I'm doing it! I mostly had to give myself permission to spend time on it. Which sometimes meant housework didn't get done or got done by someone who was not me who didn't do the same job I would have. It has been very freeing and totally worth it and scary, too! :)