"What hurts the most"

Some of you know the tragedy of my brother's death and some of you don't but what most of you don't know is the gift of love that my brother left behind. It is different for every person that my brother's life touched. For me having him one day and not having him the next taught me a great lesson in making sure that everyone around me knows how much I love them and appreciate the important roles they play in my life.

Rascall Flatts has a song called, "What Hurts the Most". Some of the lyrics are exactly what I'm talking about:

"It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go, but i'm doing it....I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken. What hurts the most, is being so close and having so much to say and watching you walk away. Never knowing what could have been. And never knowing that loving you is what I was trying to do."

I think so many times we have these feelings of admiration, of gratitude, or even love that we don't share with others for fear of rejection, or that it won't be recipricated. Grant taught me that it doesn't matter! It's the not telling,the never saying what you really feel that hurts the most in the end!

And so my brother gave me a new vision, a way to look at life differently. I hope that I live in such a way that my friends and family know exactly how much I love them, that I truly appreciate them for the individual blessings and peace that they bring to my life. I hope they never have to ask or wonder how I feel about them.