Princess

I love kids! This weekend I got to meet Princess Cinderella and her big brother who sings pirates songs, waves a light saber, and had his 5th birthday. They were just what I needed-a breath of fresh air. Kids are great and you can learn a lot from them if you give them a chance. Here are a few of the things that little Anikin Skywalker and Princess Cindrella taught me:

• If you are patient I will love you because I trust you
• When I'm hurt, if you will pick me up, cradle me in your arms, and let me cry for just moment-then you are my new friend because you saw me weak and still love me
• Singing is a good thing almost any time of day
• Play games with me, not so much to play the game, more I just want to know you are paying attention to me (This lesson learned with the kids kept hiding in the exact same spot while playing hide-n-go-seek, just so we would find them and tickle them)
• Tell me my shoes look pretty (even though they are on the wrong feet and 5 sized too big)
• when you want me to understand you come down to my level, speak softly and look into my eyes.
  
• I understand better when things are simple
• A little love goes a long way
• If you give me positive encouragment then I am more willing to try things I'm not so good at and succeed
• if you make eating interesting then I might actually eat
• every little girl (and big girl for that matter) is a princess

I am continuosly amazed at how easy it is to love the wee ones. I will miss my princess and Anikin greatly, but they put a smile on my heart and brought laughter to my lips and for that I am greatful!

With lots of love, Princess Snow White

Words of Wisdom

Harry Emerson Fosdick once wrote: "Some Christians carry their religion on their backs. It is a packet of beliefs and practices which they must bear. At times it grows heavy and they would willingly lay it down, but that would mean a break in old traditions, so they shoulder it again. But real Christians do not carry their religion, their religion carries them. It is not weight; it is wings. It lifts them up, it sees them over hard places, it makes the universe seem friendly, life purposeful, hope real, sacrafice worthwhile. It sets them free from fear, futility, discouragment, and sin-the great enslavers of men's souls. You can know a real Chrisitian when you see him, by his buoyancy."

(Twelve Test of Character [1923], 87-88)

"...Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answers..."

Rainer Marie Rilke (Letters to a Young Poet, Letter 4)

Glimpses

The part I hate the worst is that you are forever 15
You are stuck in 1999 no matter how hard I try
You are a teenager and an annoying one at that
You make me laugh and sometimes yell, but you are mine

I focus on a few distinct memories
but the tighter I hold on to them
the more distant the rest become
and I fear that the picture of you in my heart
is becoming the picture of you on my desk

The hole that you cut so deep in my heart
doesn't seem to ache as much any more and that bothers me
but 7 years is a long time and a lot of life to have lived
but don't worry healing hurts

For those who will listen I'll burden their ears
and tell them of the adventures we shared
I'll be honest in the fact that not every memory of you is pleasant
but nothing a lifetime of loving you can't make up for

and I have one huge gripe in this perfect plan
I know I have no room to complain
but if I could have one thing on this earth
I'd ask for glimpses of you

~In Memory of Grant Marcus Shields~

Questions Unanswered

I saw a young man about your age
or at least the age you would be now
and he looked miserable and lonely and my heart ached
and I looked away
and then I saw a young married couple and
they were so in love and I was happy for them
The young husband protective of his beautiful wife
I thought of you and who you would be today but I couldn't focus
my head got all fuzzy filled with questions unanswered
questions I can't seem to make go away
no matter how many years go by
then I watched as the lost young man slithered off the T
and the young married couple floated and disappeared into the crowd
and a part of me let go of both
for you are neither of them

What is Wisdom?

Being inspired by Tim and a speaker in Sacrament meeting yesterday I wanted to share a thought from my scripture study last night. It comes from Mosiah 12:27 (The Book of Mormon).

"Ye have not applied your hearts to understanding: therefore, ye have not been wise..."

Abinadi (a prophet) is testifying to the wicked priests of King Noah (a wicked king) and teaching them the truths of the ten commandments. The priests start to ask him many cross examination questions hoping to confuse Abinidi so they can accuse him and throw him into prison. Abinidi is bold with the priests and confounds them with his words. They start to ask him questions about the scriptures that they teach from (Isaiah), asking Abinidi the meaning. Abinidi asks them, "Are you priests, and pretend to teach this people, and to understand the spirit of prophesying, and yet desire to know of me what these things mean?" In other words Abinidi asks these priests why they don't know or understand what they preach. This of course makes them angry with him because he speaks truth. Abinidi then says, " Ye have not applied your hearts to understanding; therefore, ye have not been wise."

I love that sentence. The converse then is also true: In order to be wise or to have wisdom you must apply your heart to understand. Or in my own words wisdom is knowledge applied to the heart.

I know that this is a simple epiphany for many of you, but last night it struck a cord with me. True wisdom is taking the knowledge I already have and applying it to real life. To open my heart, let go, believe, stand stil, and see the salvation of God.

Secrets Don't Make Friends

I have a question that I would love anyone who reads this blog to comment on.

When is it okay to share a secret someone tells you in confidence?

I know this question may seem elementary but it is directly related to my last blog entry. I tend to be someone that people trust and therefore they tell me things in confidence all the time. I am a vault, what goes in stays--unless it is intended to be shared...which can be confusing sometimes. See, there is this weird double standard-with honesty-sometimes when it comes to friends telling secrets that they really don't intend to be kept as a secret. You know when a guy tells you he likes a girl in confidence but really he wants you to find out what she thinks and maybe even tell her he's interested.

If the person talking to you doesn't say, "Please don't share this with anyone" is it okay to share (at your disgression)? Or is it assumed that when they are telling you in confidence you won't blab their thoughts or feelings to anyone else? And if they don't specifically tell you not to to tell anyone, and you do tell someone, are you breaking confidence in your friendship?

Just curious to what people think on this subject...

Honestly...

So I have this thing with being honest. Some might call it an addiction. It gets me into trouble sometimes. For one thing it has definetly helped me to live life without regret.

Before I go into my diatribe, let's remember that although most people only think of the negative side of being honest....there is another side. The best side of all- the honestly that matters the most. The honesty that you heart speaks but rarely makes to your lips. Imagine how much better off we would be if more people said what they honestly thought of us (positively). Try it for a week. Every time you think something good about another person tell them, no matter how insignificant it is. I started by telling people I liked their hair. Every time I saw a hair cut I liked or how it was styled I made a comment. People were delighted and surprise-especially girls because they probably spent a good amount of time on it-that someone noticed them. Start small and you too may become an addict of honesty!

I didn't think much of the topic of honesty until it reared its ugly head on my mission. Now I, like most people had been lied to before, been told something intended to make me feel better but wasn't entirely true, and made up an excuse (my dad said he would go out with me any time I needed to tell a guy I already had a date) to get out of going on a date with some guy.----but I had never been privy to humanity's inability to be honest--until my mission.

If it weren't for my love of people I might have come back from my mission broken, unable to trust anyone, and gained an inability to believe in mankind. I was continuously lied to, stood up, told one thing when really the person believed entirely the opposite. I watched people tell me to my face one thing and then completely have no intention of following through. I saw the worst of people and the best and both weren't honest at times.

Now I know this happens all the time to people, but I guess I have this weakness for giving everyone the benefit of the doubt. I believe people don't intend to hurt me or lie to me....boy was I wrong. Dead wrong!

So I came home from my mission the Nazi Honest Guru. You have never seen someone so honest (maybe a bit too much--sorry to any I may have offended when I was in this stage). If I said I would do something-I would. If you asked me on a date and I didn't want to go I would politely decline (no lame excuses needed) and so forth. I also had the same expectation of everyone around me...at this point some of you are thinking I'm nuts...I was.

See just becasue I couldn't stand the liers, the fakers, those who couldn't keep committments, those who would say one thing but never intend to follow through-didn't mean that any of them felt my same detest I did. In fact, some of these people had no problem lying in order to make someone feel better. A hard lesson that I am still learning.

I guess what I'm getting at is this -you may say that you want people to be honest with you- to tell it straight up as it is- but when it comes down to it you most likely will chose whatever hurts less in the end.

Guy's say they want a girl to tell them if she isn't interested but really they don't want to be hurt. Girl's say they really want a guy to tell them the truth when they ask them questions but really they want the guy to tell them what would make them feel good about themselves- not necissarily the truth. I really don't get it and I guess I'm weird that way, but I'm learning. Honestly, can't we all just be more honest?

I'm trying to find a balance between being honest-really honest with everyone- and being aware of others feelings. In the end, when the day is done, I still believe that honesty is the best policy!

The Office

What the fly on the wall hears in my office:

"You can never have too many post-it notes"

"When we have an "open door policy" does that mean that my door has to actually be open?"

"Sorry I can't hear you my music is too loud"

"I'm going to my outside office"

"I don't know why I have an intern when I can barely figure out what I'm suppose to do"

"Yes, you have to ask people for money if you become the fundraising and development Coordinator"

"So if we are a staff of 2, and that is me and you, then what is the differnce between our staff meeting and all our other meetings?"

"no, we are not a baseball club"

"So are you the volunteer coordinator or a volunteer that coordinates?" " Yes"

July 7, 2006

7 Things I Want to Do Before I Die:
1. Sit on the Spanish Steps
2. Own a piano
3. Get married
4. Sing a solo with a live orchestra
5. Accomplish my 101 goals
6. Learn to play the guitar (well)
7. Own a car

7 Things I Cannot Do:
1. Be an artist (art, drawing, painting)
2. Like my cell phone
3. Be near cut grass
4. Enjoy toothpaste
5. Wear jewlery
6. Sunflowers
7. Eat Rye bread

7 Things I say often:
1. "Ha-ppy"
2. "True that"
3. "Who does that?"
4. "Kiss his face off"
5."I can't be bothered"
6. "Oober"
7. "Empowered"

7 Books I Could Read Over and Over:
1. "Tuesdays with Morrie" by Mitch Albom
2. "Making Loss Matter" by Rabbi David Wolpe
3. "Letters to a Young Poet" by Rainer Marie Rilke
4. "A Grief Observed" by Clive Staples Lewis
5. "The Count of Monte Cristo" by Alexander Dumas
6. "Book of Mormon"
7. "Screwtape Letters" by C.S. Lewis

7 Songs I Could Listen to Over and Over (originally movies):
1. "Boston" by Augustana
2. "Unwritten" by Natasha Beddingfield
3. "Every Day Must End" by Auburn (Cassey Goalie & Daniel Wood)
4. "The Gift" by Palimino (Brinton Jones)
5. "Beautiful" by Bethany Dillon
6. "The Blower's Daughter" by Damien Rice
7. Anything by Frank Sinatra

7 Things that Attract Me to My Best Friends:
1. Passion
2. They keep me laughing
3. Integrity
4. Honesty
5. Inspiring
6. When people know your secrets you have to keep them close!
7. I am myself when I'm around them.

7 People that I think should do "7".
1. K. Marie
2. Seth
3. ~T~
4. Chelsea Strayer
5. Mike Strayer
6. Ju Ju Bee
7.Amy E

"...And the rockets red glare..."

7:30 am --Wake up

I woke up very excited in anticipation for a wonderful day. I had no idea how great this 4th of July in 2006 at Boston Massachussettes would be.

9:00 am --Official Ceremony

City Hall Plaza, Master of CermonyLieutenant Colonel GeraldT. Wellman US Army
--National Anthem sung by Ernest Triplett.
--Pledge of Allegiance by Rear Admiral Mark W. Kenny,Commander,
Submarine Group Two, Commander Navy Region Northeast.
--Welcome Remarks, by Mayor Menino
--"Stars and Stripes Forever"by Zarba/Shea Military Band

9:20 am --Parade from City Hall Plaza to Tremont Street

--Follow Parade to the Old Granary Burial Ground

9:30 am --Halt for Honors-

Wreaths placed by Ancient and Honorable Artillery Company on the graves of Samuel Adams, John Hancock, Robert TreatPaine and Peter Faneuil.

9:35 am --Taps. Salvos by Wilmington Minutemen.

--Parade goes to the Old State House

9:40 am --Reading of the Declaration of Independence

9:45 am --Realization

At this point we were standing behind these two good looking couples with three children, a stroller, lots of love...and I couldn't help but think that they had to "Mormon". Then I remembered where I was and thought that the chances were very small that they were. It started to bug me though. So I started to coyly look for signs (you know what I'm talking about). I thought that I saw a foriegn CTR ring on one of the guys fingers. I decided to just ask them as were leaving...sure enough, they were members. I knew it! There is just something about members and that whole glow thing etc. I also couldn't help but think while I was watching them and listening to the Declaration of Independence being read that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints was dependent on this country gaining its independence. I am amazed at how the Lord has a plan for everything. I found myself feeling very patriotic and grateful for being an American!

10:30 am --Patriotic Exercises at Faneuil Hall

11:30 am --End of Official Ceremony

12:00 pm --Lunch Time

--Wander around Quincy Market
--Take a nice nap/ discussion under a tree on the Pier overlooking the Charles River

Katherine Chipman I were able to have an incredible conversation about "Mormon" culture. I am curious to hear what some of you have to say about "Mormon" culture? These comments can be good or bad.

3:00 pm --Get lost looking for Cameron Wheeler's House

4:00 pmish --Arrive at Cameron's BBQ

--K. Marie and climb out on the fire escape and enjoy the view
--K. Marie and I decided to go eat up on the roof (fantastic idea)

5:00 pm --Take a very long leisurely walk to my office

6:00 pm --Fall fast asleep on the couch in my office (I was completely drained)

8:00 pm --Get woken up by Seth's phone calling me and asking me where I am

9:00 pmish

--Find K. Marie & Seth to watch fireworks with them
--Have such a good time eating munchies, talking, and enjoying the music
--Thinking that this must be the longest most amazing day ever!

10:30 pmish -- Boston Pops Firework Spectacular

K. Marie, Seth, and I were just sitting there loving the music, dancing a little, singing along and waiting patiently for the fireworks to start. I don't think that any of us could've even begun to imagine how magically spectacular the fire in the sky was about to become. Man, the fireworks were eye tantilizing, eye candy, and truly the most amazing fireworks display that I have ever seen. I looked over at K. Marie and Seth at different points and their jaws were dropped with their mouths open just as wide as mine. The sky was on fire! There were fireworks that looked like popcorn, green tadpoles, square-like dice, and weeping willows. It just seemed to go on forever. I really am still in shock at how amazing it all was. The music was also great-some lighthearted summer songs, with the classic patriotic pieces. The Boston Pops are truly amazing!

11:30 pmish --Walk to Harvard

As we were walking I think we started to realize just how much walking we had actually done. We had walked all over downtown, walked down Commonwealth, and then walked to Harvard from Kendall Square area. I think I can speak for all of us that we didn't mind the walking. It was such a good day and spectacular night that no one had it in them to complain. This day is certainly one that will be remembered!

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!!

Independence Eve

When you celebrate Independence Day in the "Cradle of Liberty" there just isn't enought time to fit all the festivities in one day. So Boston has an entire week (Boston Harborfest June 28th-July 4th) of fun.

I caught up with the excitement of Harborfest on Friday June 30th with Karlee (co-worker). It was her last day of work so we decided to go live it up at Goverment Center/City Hall Plaza. While we were there I got a free bone density test. the girl in front of me wa 16 yrs. old and had a read out of -1.4 (this is very bad). She got this pep talk and sent on her way. This made me a little nervous (I haven't been drinking milk very much lately). Come to find out I am way above average-when it comes to my bones. I received a read out of 2.4. The highest of the day (at that time). That might explain why no broken bones.

While we were taking in the bustle of the city we got free smoothies, ice cream, lunch, and all the Coke, Pepsi, and Crystal Light that we could drink. It was a beautiful day and such a joy to be out of the office for a little bit

FAST FORWARD TO INDEPENDENCE EVE...

K. Marie and I decided that we wanted to go to the Boston Pops pre-concert. We met up with Scott Christopherson and lots of others while there. Also Yancy and Jared joined us after touring the city. Again it was a beautiful day and our seats were okay. We hunkered in and waited to hear from Steven Tyler, Ayla (local American Idol star), Rockapella, and host Dr. Phil (uugh). The pre-concert was great.

...oh, funny story. So they stopped letting people into the Hatch Shell area of the Esplanade but a lot of our friends (that we had space for) hadn't yet arrived. So we did what anyone else would do (and did do) we found creative ways to sneak our friends into the area. oooh look how bad we "Mormons" are.

While I was over at the hot dog stand there was this little cute blonde-haired-blue-eyed girl crying. I remember that I had two American flags sticking out of my hair and quickly whipped out one and handed it to the girl. She immediately stopped crying. It is amazing to me what a little kindness can do and the power that flag has on people!

The night was very fun. We got to sing along, dance the night away, wave our flags, eat hot dogs, drink Lemonade, and much more. We scaled fences to tell the sound guys how great they are and we stood on chairs to send our love out (by screaming in unison) to Keith Lockhart. I think Steven Tyler was a little confused because he turned to us and waved...and then Keith did. It was awesome!

Yancy & Mooney

There are some people in this world (seems to be a common occurance in my life) that although you've never met them before-you can't imagine why not. It just doesn't seem logical that just now, at this moment in your life, you are meeting them-makes you kinda feel ripped off!

Yancy and Jared are just such peeps. These guys are awesome! Let me give you a list of just a few of the reasons why I love these guys:
plays guitar
sings (very well)
funny as all get out
chill...very chill
not afraid to be a fool
love Keith Lockhart
MP3 Expirement
Thai food
beautiful lazy couches
Cleo
Steven Tyler
Rockapella
hugs
Boston
wicked awesome friends

Yancy, Jared, Scott, K. Marie and I had a blast hanging out this weekend. We ate delicious Thai food, sang songs, laughed, played around like littlies, jumped fences, yelled out to Keith Lockhard that we loved him and got Steven Tyler to wave directly at us, yes it was us he was waving at. It's great to have some new friends.

So guys....remember to come back to Boston. She misses you already and so do I!