Thursday, July 20, 2006

Honestly...

So I have this thing with being honest. Some might call it an addiction. It gets me into trouble sometimes. For one thing it has definetly helped me to live life without regret.

Before I go into my diatribe, let's remember that although most people only think of the negative side of being honest....there is another side. The best side of all- the honestly that matters the most. The honesty that you heart speaks but rarely makes to your lips. Imagine how much better off we would be if more people said what they honestly thought of us (positively). Try it for a week. Every time you think something good about another person tell them, no matter how insignificant it is. I started by telling people I liked their hair. Every time I saw a hair cut I liked or how it was styled I made a comment. People were delighted and surprise-especially girls because they probably spent a good amount of time on it-that someone noticed them. Start small and you too may become an addict of honesty!

I didn't think much of the topic of honesty until it reared its ugly head on my mission. Now I, like most people had been lied to before, been told something intended to make me feel better but wasn't entirely true, and made up an excuse (my dad said he would go out with me any time I needed to tell a guy I already had a date) to get out of going on a date with some guy.----but I had never been privy to humanity's inability to be honest--until my mission.

If it weren't for my love of people I might have come back from my mission broken, unable to trust anyone, and gained an inability to believe in mankind. I was continuously lied to, stood up, told one thing when really the person believed entirely the opposite. I watched people tell me to my face one thing and then completely have no intention of following through. I saw the worst of people and the best and both weren't honest at times.

Now I know this happens all the time to people, but I guess I have this weakness for giving everyone the benefit of the doubt. I believe people don't intend to hurt me or lie to me....boy was I wrong. Dead wrong!

So I came home from my mission the Nazi Honest Guru. You have never seen someone so honest (maybe a bit too much--sorry to any I may have offended when I was in this stage). If I said I would do something-I would. If you asked me on a date and I didn't want to go I would politely decline (no lame excuses needed) and so forth. I also had the same expectation of everyone around me...at this point some of you are thinking I'm nuts...I was.

See just becasue I couldn't stand the liers, the fakers, those who couldn't keep committments, those who would say one thing but never intend to follow through-didn't mean that any of them felt my same detest I did. In fact, some of these people had no problem lying in order to make someone feel better. A hard lesson that I am still learning.

I guess what I'm getting at is this -you may say that you want people to be honest with you- to tell it straight up as it is- but when it comes down to it you most likely will chose whatever hurts less in the end.

Guy's say they want a girl to tell them if she isn't interested but really they don't want to be hurt. Girl's say they really want a guy to tell them the truth when they ask them questions but really they want the guy to tell them what would make them feel good about themselves- not necissarily the truth. I really don't get it and I guess I'm weird that way, but I'm learning. Honestly, can't we all just be more honest?

I'm trying to find a balance between being honest-really honest with everyone- and being aware of others feelings. In the end, when the day is done, I still believe that honesty is the best policy!

7 comments:

Tang Tang said...

Fantastic ideas, Ky! Honestly, you bring up some great issues. I try to be honest, I do...truth is just so ridiculously boring sometimes.

Just kidding! (kind of)

Mooney said...

Yeah, whatever hurts me less is usually what I really want.

Ju Ju Bee said...

Did you write this because I said I'd call you the other night and I didn't?

Honestly, I'm sorry. :(

P.S. Will you go on a date with me sometime? he he

Yancy said...

good thoughts. I think their is a balance to be found.

Steph said...

Kylie,
I really liked this post. For me, I'd rather be told the brutally honest truth than be lied to and then later find out that I was lied to. I think that lying always ends up hurting worse in the end. I've been lied to a lot in relationships that I've been in and even though the truth hurts worse at first, its better in the long run. It seems that I've been able to discern when I'm being lied to, which makes me even more upset, which makes the other person want to lie even more to not make me as upset. It hurts. Honesty is the way to go. Always.

Anonymous said...

Here are some links that I believe will be interested

Anonymous said...

I like it! Keep up the good work. Thanks for sharing this wonderful site with us.
»