Thursday, July 20, 2006

Secrets Don't Make Friends

I have a question that I would love anyone who reads this blog to comment on.

When is it okay to share a secret someone tells you in confidence?

I know this question may seem elementary but it is directly related to my last blog entry. I tend to be someone that people trust and therefore they tell me things in confidence all the time. I am a vault, what goes in stays--unless it is intended to be shared...which can be confusing sometimes. See, there is this weird double standard-with honesty-sometimes when it comes to friends telling secrets that they really don't intend to be kept as a secret. You know when a guy tells you he likes a girl in confidence but really he wants you to find out what she thinks and maybe even tell her he's interested.

If the person talking to you doesn't say, "Please don't share this with anyone" is it okay to share (at your disgression)? Or is it assumed that when they are telling you in confidence you won't blab their thoughts or feelings to anyone else? And if they don't specifically tell you not to to tell anyone, and you do tell someone, are you breaking confidence in your friendship?

Just curious to what people think on this subject...

7 comments:

S said...
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S said...

Broken confidence baby. That's my feeling. I would say that more often then not, even when not specifically stated, things told in confidence are ment to be kept secret. And if someone specifically asks you not to tell and you tell...that can be a bit of a deal breaker for some people. Those are my thoughts. Be a vault.

Tang Tang said...

Hmm...not only should you keep things told in secret a secret, I think it says a lot about a person that can keep the information shared from influencing the way they interact with you and others. For example, if I tell you of my crippling addiction to Oatmeal Creme Pies, it's one thing to go and tell everyone my weakness and it's another to eat one silently in front of me. You probably shouldn't do either, I say.

Just give me the freaking pie!

Jessi Mather said...

Hi Kylee!!

I keep checking your blog through Josh's site and would love to email you and be in touch again. Lots to catch up on. jnicole228@yahoo.com --email me if you get a chance.

Jessi :)
tomandjessi.blogspot.com

Ju Ju Bee said...

I'm a secret keeper too, but I won't keep a secret if I feel like it is harmful to someone. I would also say that you have to look very closely at your motivation behind telling someone's secret. If it's not good enough, don't do it.

Yancy said...

i think that each situation is different and that therefore there really can't e any hard fast rule(s) regarding when one should and when one should not pass on information...

For the most part, I think if someone says it's a secret or they say that they are telling you in confidence, etc. that pretty much means, don't tell.

I guess what I'm saying is that there are allways exceptions to the rule...but they are just that, "exceptions." They are not the rule.

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