Sunday, September 05, 2010

Alternative Dating Styles

Often, being that I'm single and hang around single people, we get talking about dating, the complications, the drama, the "game" and all that jazz. I was talking to some friends and we were sharing our worst date scenarios. We were laughing and remembering... and then someone said something that struck a cord with me. It was something about what if we took looks off table completely when deciding who to date. (Now don't get me wrong I'm a firm believer in attraction and the importance it plays in a relationships). Interesting to think about right? So if looks were off the table what would you base your initial attraction on?

I don't know but it seems to me that people who aren't gorgeous or highly sought after for their beauty seem to rely on their resume or things they have done with their life. They start with what they are doing currently in their jobs or school etc. Then they share things like where they've traveled, things they've accomplished, their future plans etc.

Some people rely heavily on the "role" they play in a social setting such as, "the funny one", the "social butterfly", the "connector", the "I'll host a party at my place" or so forth. I wonder how these people would interact differently if all of a sudden they weren't allowed to fall back on their "role(s)"?

Then there's all sort of people who fall in between the "beautifuls" and the "brainiacs".

Sometimes I just wonder how things would be different in dating if beauty wasn't such a focus? I don't know that things would change much or that dating would be any better. Maybe it would just be different with an emphasis elsewhere. What do you think?


smiliesar said...

What an interesting thought. I think the focus would just fall somewhere else...though I do think it would be a more fair "playground" for everyone since you have no control over you looks...well little control.

Chantalita said...

I think asking blind people what qualities they ask for might add some insight. Like is voice quality important or how someone feels when you hug them or other qualities important to attraction? Are they less superficial or just superficial in different ways?