Grant Marcus Shields

Today was the anniversary of my brother's death. A day I don't love to remember but I love to remember him. My sister Chelsea (see her blog) wrote a beautiful blog about some of the great memories that surrounded his death. I look at my family now and I'm amazed at how well we are doing-we are surviving and are stronger because of it.My life-our lives were irrevocable changed that day.

Sometimes out here in Boston I feel isolated surrounded by a mob of people who love me. The thing is they never new Grant, they never loved him, and therefore they can't share his loss or love of life with me. This is hard, but at the same time this is what healing feels like.

So to my family, struggling with their individual life strains, I love you and I'm thinking of you today.

I miss you

I got a letter in the mail today. It was addressed to me in a little kid's handwriting with my little sister's name up in the left hand corner (just her first name), Camryn. I opened the letter and it was folded in half with my name written really big with a cute pink polka dot sticker seal. I opened it up and there was a picture in blue of an angel with long hair and a arrow pointing to her that said YOU. This is is what the letter said:

Dear Kylee,

I love you so much I miss you!

Love, Camryn

I cried.

Maybe because I can't believe the timing. Maybe because it's things like this that remind me that my sometimes my sucky life isn't really that bad at all. Maybe because it was a reminder to me of all the things I'm missing about my baby sister whilst I'm out here trying to figure out what it means to be an adult. Maybe it's because I can't believe how incredibly blessed I am to have such a wonderful family!

Or

Maybe it's just because I Love you and miss you so much too Camryn!

Love, Kylee

I hate toothpaste!

Is it any wonder that I hate toothpaste?? Lest any of you worry I do love to brush my teeth (and I use toothpaste--I'm just extremely picky)

4th of July

The day dawned early for 4th with the parade, the oration, the fife & drum band, and much much more...


Might as well dress the part when you're feeling so patriotic!


Kylee & Natalie


Are we having fun yet?


We staked out a place and hunkered down for the sky to explode


Come rain or shine the fireworks were spectacular and it was another amazing 4th of July in the "Cradle of Liberty"!

July 3rd

This is us waiting for the pre-Pops Concert on July 3rd! It was quite the ordeal getting everyone to the Hatch Shell but well worth it!


I was surprised by how many groups of those crazy Mormons I saw!


Hugo, Phil & I


Marianne & I


Me, Marianne & her BFF's visiting her--Courtney & Anna


Another crazy group


Nick & I


Ben & I


Another group...



Another...

A
Another...


And yet another...


Amy Flake & I


Hugo & I


Keith Lockhart, the Boston Pops, and the Boston Children's Choir


My favorite part is the sing along


The girls and I blowin' kisses


The after show party was happening at The Cheese Cake Factory



HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARIANNE!!

Treasure Island, Maine

Jared & I did not intend to capsize our canoe (thus both of us fully clad) but the winds and the ways thought different


Where we ate & played an ENTIRE game of Phase 10


Where some slept










Jasmine & I


Timothy and the beautiful hostess herself, Jenny




Nat & Ky


Joe & Ju


Go Joseph!


Natalie & Jared

The Value of Your Heart

In church there is a lot of talk about taking care of our bodies, protecting them, not violating them, being chaste. We talk about what to put on our bodies, into our bodies, what not to put into or on our bodies. We talk about how our bodies are not our own and how they are "bought with a price." We even talk about how our bodies are in the exact image of our Heavenly Father.

But what about our hearts??

We talk about how we are responsible for our own body and for what we do to other people's bodies. We talk about how sacred our bodies are and the role they play the Plan of Happiness. We talk about what we see, what we say, and all sorts of other choices and decisions we make with our bodies.

With all this emphasis on our bodies I'm fully convinced that the Lord also values our hearts. I would imagine we will be responsible for the hearts we interact with for the good and bad. There is something to be said about what we allow others to do to our hearts and how we treat theirs.

I believe there is a responsibility we have --and rarely talk about--when it comes to hearts. I think that we are accountable for the hearts we mislead, the hearts we break, the hearts we hold, the hearts we cherish, the hearts we make commitments to, and the hearts to which we love. I also think we are accountable for our own hearts. We will be held accountable for those that we let walk all over our hearts, break our hearts, hold our hearts, and to those we give our hearts to. In this way it's very similar to the way we talk about our bodies.

To those of you who read this blog I hope you know the value of your heart to mine. I know I have a lot to learn about how I treat other hearts and how I let others treat my heart. And so in the moments you've trusted me enough to hold your heart (even for a moment--even just a little peace) and I've let you down, I apologize. And for all those other moments when my heart has interacted with yours for the good, I thank you.

WARNING !!

Below is pictures of my infected toe...
and there's blood!

One big piggy went to the doctor...

So the other day my big toe was really hurting. I looked at it and figured I'd been bitten by something, no big deal. I just soaked it in Epson salt and figure it would go away with time. I was wrong and over the course of about 5 days it just kept getting worse. So I made a Doctor's appointment.


Just before I went to the doctor my foot started to feel really painful and unbeknownst to me (remember the toe was already in festering pain) it decided to bleed all over everything. I had no idea and was preoccupied by finding car keys and getting my wallet. I felt something sticky on my flip flop and so I looked down and there was blood everywhere--dripping from my foot.


I picked up the blood soaked flip flop and headed to the nearest sink (leaving a trail. I can't believe how much one toe can actually bleed!


Once the blood had clotted I headed to the Doctor. The Doc told me I had a bad infection and so she gave me a prescription for antibiotics. She also told me I needed to do this surgery thing on my toe before I went home.

She was going to give me 4 shots to numb my toe, then she would cut away the skin and a big chunk of my toe nail. This would help the infection to go away. A bunch of nurses and assistants wanted to watch so we had a little party.

Me, the Doctor, and 4 other people in one tiny patients room, and we were laughing, and then I was wincing in pain, then I was fascinated by the process, and then lots more blood. Then the Doc was pulling my toe nail out by the root with pliers-craziness! What did they do before we had numbing drugs?


Sorry it's not the best picture. The black line is there because my Doctor said to let her know immediately if my infection gets close the the line. The Left part of my toe nail where you see redness is where she removed a big chunk of my nail. Doc said it may or may not grow back--bummer!

The De Cordova Date

(L-R) Kristi Marie Thompson Criddle, Natalie Williams, Kylene Shields,
& Julie "Starlight" Hulet

The master minds of this great date!

The De Cordova Sculpture Park
Julie & Joseph, Marie & Preston, Natalie & Wiley, Kylee & John

Deep Thoughts...

Natalie hates geese--ever since she was attacked by them as a child

John & I climbed this gigantic tree--he actually climbed to the top!