My Sister Is A Rock Star!!!

In case you haven't heard or seen the buzz about my sister Ali, she was on Ellen yesterday. You should watch the clip of her here and see some of her wicked awesome dancing moves at the beginning of Ellen's show here. In addition she has posted two of her original songs on YouTube here and here.

She's always been a big deal to those of us who know her (my family is so excited and a bit FB crazy these days) but now she's the real deal! I am so proud you Alexa for making a bucket list and being able to check off your number 1!

"What Lack I Yet?"

There is story from the book of Matthew in the New Testament of a man who comes to the Lord and asks, "Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life?" and the Lord proceeds to list of things this man needs to do. When the Lord is done with the list the man says, "All these things have I kept from my youth up: What lack I yet?" Then "Jesus beholding him loved him and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven; and come, take up the cross, and follow me." (Matthew 19:16-22) & (Mark 10:21.)

This question, "What lack I yet?" has been ruminating in my mind for a few days. I read this story of this man I feel sorry for the man. He asked the Lord what he needed to do and the Lord, because He loved him, answered him. The Lord told him the one thing he was lacking but in the end the man wasn't willing to give up his riches for eternal life. I sometimes wonder if I am the same?

Oddly, today I had the exact opposite thought from the above. The line from a song I wrote recently kept coming to my mind. "All you see when you look at me is everything I lack..." I wonder how often we only see in others the things they are lacking or missing? I wonder if we completely miss out on great relationships, friendships or even romantic possibilities because we are so focused on what someone is lacking instead of all they posses.

I hope I am willing to give up all I posses to return to God someday and in the meantime I strive to see what people have to offer rather than what they are lacking.

Which is Worse?

The other day I asked a co-worker of mine what I should tell people when they ask me what I do.

I said, "Should I tell them I'm a Social Worker or a Therapist?"

He laughed and with a smile on his face said, "Either one is better than telling them that you are Mormon."

WAVE

I've been dabbling with a new website called WAVE women advocating for voice & equality. My sister Chelsea Shields Strayer is on the Board of Directors and got me interested. She had a wonderful interview with KRCL: RadioActive! so check it out to see what WAVE is all about.

I wrote a post on WAVE's Hope section of their website. I felt great about what I wrote and even called both my parents to get their opinions. I figured they'd be a bit squirmy about their two feminist daughters but was surprised to hear that they were fine with what I had written. Then came some negative comments and I started thinking about what it actually means to be a Mormon Feminist. I think, as far as Mormon Feminists go, I'm very mild and moderate but nevertheless if wanting equality means I'm a feminist--so be it! I am so proud of my sister, a very strong feminist, that she is reaching women who desperately need a place to call home.

I am grateful for wonderful (conservatively faithful) parents who have taught me truth and let me find myself in this great big world!

An Attitude of Gratitude

After watching General Conference I couldn't help but feel very grateful for all the blessings in my life. I wrote this poem a while ago but I thought I would post it since it describes many of the things I'm grateful for.
Made For Me

Behold the heavens Thy hands hath made

Deep is the valley Thou freely gave

On top the mountain, Beneath the sea

For these I’m grateful Thou made for me

To see a rainbow in its array

And bask in twilight near the end of day

The shooting star, For every tree

For these I’m grateful Thou made for me

For every sunrise that starts the day

And every river that’s carved its way

For every flower and every bee

Of these I’m grateful Thou made for me

The sound of music that fills the air

The deepest of love that we share

For healing, forgiveness, and eyes to see

Of these I'm grateful Thou made for me

Kylee Shields 2/17/10

Date #7: "Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better"

Name: "Jackpot"

Profession: State Farm Agent

Date Theme: Competition

My original final date got called into work so I was told by HT that I would have a date and to to be ready by 7:30 pm. So I was at home with my roommates getting ready around 7:00 pm when I heard my roommate scream up to me to call 911 b/c the neighbors were fighting. I rand downstairs and outside ( I have personally seen how bad these domestic violence fights can be). I yelled at my neighbors to stop and long story short they calmed down a bit. I told my story to the 911 dispatch while the neighbors continued to get intoxicated and were swearing up a storm. The Cops came dealt with the situation, came over and got our witness statements and then we had actually write out our statements. The Cops took our driver's license and such and it was at this time that my date showed up....

Turns out it was "Jackpot" aka the HT aka The Instigator!! I was surprised to see him at my door but knew that I would have a blast. So after I finished up with the cops "Jackpot" and I headed to Tempe Market Place. We went to eat dinner at Dave & Busters but there was a wait so we decided to walk around and talk.

I thought this bike rack was super awesome!

I couldn't resist playing in the jumping fountain with the kiddos!

Finally it was time to eat and we had a great time getting to know each other and eating our fabulous food. When we were done eating the games began. "Jackpot" just wanted to win or beat me in every game we played (and he almost did). I had so much fun playing all the games and winning tons of tickets!

"Jackpot" won the 600 ticket jackpot and the 200 ticket jackpot for a total of 800 tickets!

The tickets seriously were coming out of the machine forever!

"Jackpot" was kind and bought me an Elmo for 1/2 the tickets we earned (yes we only used 1/2 our tickets that's how many tickets we won.)

Then "Jackpot" drove me home, walked me to the door, said goodbye, and...

Date #6: Ward Picnic

Name: "Hulu"

Profession: Full-Time ASU Law Student

Date Theme: Picnic in the Park

My date tonight is roommates with "Sushi" and both are in my new ward. "Hulu" came and picked me up and we went to the store to pick out food to make dinner. We decided to make pizza and picked up a dessert while we were there. Then we went back to "Hulu's" house to make our pizza. I was given the job to do the sauce and cheese while my date did the pepperoni.

After we had finished making dinner we headed to Freestone Park to join our ward for a picnic themed date night. Here's how it worked: people from the ward signed up to be a part of the picnic night. Then the girls who came prepared a dinner for two and the guys who came prepared a dessert for two. The girls put their dinners on the table and the guys picked whatever picnic he wanted and then they were matched to eat a picnic dinner. They were given a few getting to know you questions. When that was done we all walked to a different area in the park and the guys set up their desserts and the girls picked the dessert of their choice and were matched up with the guy for a picnic dessert. Again each couple was given some questions.

In the end all the questionnaire's were placed in a bowl. The couple chosen were each given gift certificates ($40).

So "Hulu" and I went to the part but instead of switching date we just had both the dinner and dessert picnics with each other. We ate the pizza we made and enjoyed the Oreo cake dessert we bought. We had already asked some getting to know you questions previous to the picnic but welcomed the ready make questionnaires.

One of the questions: "What do you do in your free time" brought about a funny conversation with my date. He admitted that whenever he is asked this question all he can think of as an answer is "I like to watch TV." I laughed and readily agreed. Telling him that I watch my episodes on Hulu to unwind from my crazy job to my daily living. We talked about how most people like to watch TV but that's not an acceptable answer to give so everyone always thinks of other things they do. I laughed and said that is exactly what I do--my go to answer is that I play the piano. "Hulu" admitted that he hates the commercials on Hulu and would rather watch his favorite shows on TV than Hulu.

We had a great time answering the questions and then making up our own questions. When the ward picnic was over "Hulu" took me home. We didn't stay up much longer b/c our ward temple was at 6:30 am Saturday morning. So "Hulu" walked me to the door, said goodnight, and he...

Date #5: "Sing Me A Song You're the..."

Name: "Piano man"

Profession: Full-Time Student (Pest Control on the side)

Date Theme: Dinner & Entertainment

I was suppose to go on a date with one guy but something came up so "Piano Man" was great and filled in last minute. He took me to Rumbi for dinner and I really enjoyed the ambiance and company. I had never been to Rumbi and really liked the Hawaiian feel it had.

"Piano Man" and I ate our rice bowls and had some great conversation. During the conversation we learned that we both play the piano in common. So after dinner we went back to my house and played some piano. "Piano Man" can play jazz ( I dream about being able to do that some times) and so we attempted to play a few duets.

After our jam session I walked him back outside to say goodbye and he...

Date #4: Genki

Name: "Sushi"

Profession: Medical Student (D.O.) @ A.T. Still

Date Theme: Dinner & Dessert

"Sushi" and I hadn't met before but I had seen him in my ward a few times. He seemed like he had a great personality! He was with a school friend while she was taking the first discussion from the Missionaries before we went out. He was a bit late (but is there really a better excuse??)

We were heading to an Indian food but it was closed. While we doing some getting to know each other I found out that "Sushi" is half Japanese and served his mission in Japan. So that was fun b/c I'm currently loving all things Japan. So since we couldn't get Indian food we looked around near by and found a Sushi place. We decided to be adventurous and try it out.

I liked the sushi but enjoyed the company even more! "Sushi" and I had a blast talking to each other and have SO much in common. We both love culture, music, and of course, Japan! In particular he likes Jazz (which is rare)! We got Vegas rolls, California Rolls, Eel, and Spicy Tuna and ate every last bite!

Then we went to get some ice cream to share and "Sushi" told me all about his school, A.T. Still University, and how much he enjoys his program. He is passionate about helping people and as a therapist I share that same passion so we had a lot to talk about in that area.

At the end of the night we sat in the rocking chairs on the porch at my house and talked for a bit more but "Sushi" is training to be a doctor so he still has hours of homework to complete. So we said goodbye...

Date #3: Storytelling

Name: "Cop"

Profession: City of Phoenix Cop

Date Theme: Storytelling

"Cop" has to wake up at 4:00 am so we didn't have a long date but we did have a great time. "Cop" took me a place called, "Joe's Farm Grill" that I have been hearing about but had never been. We both got burgers and the stories began.

"Cop" told me a bunch of great stories about his adventures being a cop, a crazy story about his roommate, and I shared a few of my own stories. We had a great time just sharing stories from the "trenches" and talking about some research on secondary trauma, etc. I found the conversation great and we laughed a lot.

After dinner we went back to "Cop's" place and continued telling stories whilst playing a fierce game of Jenga. I won and that's all that matters. Then "Cop" took me home, walked me to the door, and...

It was great to be able to talk "shop" a bit with "cop".Even though we have different jobs they have a lot of similarities. "Cop" seems like a really stellar guy!

Date #2: Moonlit River

Name: "Gondolier"

Profession: Handy Man

Date Theme: Kayaking on the moonlit river

"Gondolier" (Gondo) surprised me with his laid back personality. He sounded like he was from Southern Cali but is actually from UT. He used to live on the slops at Snowbird and then the Lord told him to fly away from the snow to Arizona. "Gondo" shared his Alma-like conversion story throughout the night and it was very interesting!

The Vessel

We went to the store to buy the ingredients for what he called "Mexi-Brauts" and then we loaded up a two man kayak and drove to the end of the Salt River. Once we got there he busted out his propane stove and started cooking away. He made sweet potato fries with butter and garlic, put the brauts on the grill, and pulled out his outdoor lounge chairs. Oh I can't forget the awesome Reggae music he had playing from the truck.

When it came time to put the brauts together "Gondo" realized he'd forgotten to buy hot dog buns! No worries my friends, he happen to have two English Muffins in the cooler so we used those instead. We had brauts with cilantro, onions, avocado, and some other yummy delicious things. The Sweet Potato friends turned out great and all the food was wonderful. "Gondo" made all the food on the tailgate of his truck so that was fun!

After dinner was over we took the kayak out into the river. Some parts of the river were so shallow we didn't even need to paddle. The ambiance was incredible with the moonlit, stars, and being out on the water. "Gondo" said, "I guess i should have put your seat facing me so that I could gaze into your eyes instead of talking to the back of your head." We both laughed at his cheesy line! I had a blast out on the water and getting to know "Gondo". Then he stood up like a Gondolier in Venice and steered the boat standing up.

When we finally found out launching spot again we headed home to drop off the kayak and then back to my place. "Gondo" walked me to the door and said something like, "You're a cool chick so I'll keep your number." Then he...

I had a wonderful time getting to know "Gondo" better, taking in the wicked awesome moonlight, and enjoying the river!

Date #1: Game Night

Name: "Chef"

Profession: Full-Time Student (Valet on the side)

Date Theme: Dinner & Games

"Chef" (I won't be posting any of the guys real names) picked me up around 7:00 pm. He was a gentleman and opened the doors for me (even the car door). We went to his house where he had prepared some food but it had to cook. He made twice backed potatoes and chicken, onion, and green bell pepper shish kabobs. The food looked amazing. This is where he earned his nickname.

While we waited for the food to cook we played a game called "Sequence" that I had never played before but enjoyed. I did fairly well for my first time but Chef is really good at the game and so he beat me. ( I would make up for that later). The finished cooking, smelled, and tasted amazing! "Chef" lives in a house with 4 other roommates, all of whom I met throughout the night, one of which I had gone on a few dates with previously!

One of "Chef's" roommates and his girlfriend joined us for dinner since there was more than enough for all 4 of us. It was nice to have others to talk to and so our single date turned into a sort of double date. After talking and eating we left to go to a game night at some of "Chef's" friends' house.

Game night was okay but the girls who lived in the house had a cat (which I hate) so I avoided wherever the cat was all evening. At one point we got to play a game of "Cutthroat" and it was "Chef, this guy named Nathan, and I playing together. I was 1-5, Nathan was 6-10, "Chef" was 11-15. Nathan won the game. I beat "Chef" which is all that mattered to me!! I met another one of "Chef's" roommates (he was talking with an Australian accent) at games night. Also I re-met and actually got talking to this amazing girl and she got my number so I was able to do a little networking!

After game night we went back to where "Chef" lives and I met the last roommate (remember I had gone out with the other roommate about 5 years ago). We all ended up eating Cheesecake and just talking and having a great time. "Chef" then took me home, walked me to the door, and...

I had a great time with "Chef" and hope the rest of dates go as smooth!!

7 Dates in 7 Days

The other night I was sitting with my Home Teacher and my roommates' Home Teacher and they were teaching us a lesson and so forth. After the lesson, like usual, they asked us if there was anything they could do for us. I was in a silly mood and JOKINGLY said something about them helping us to date more. Neither of us had been on a date in a long time. We talked about being single, dating, and so forth and they left. No big deal, right? WRONG!

The next night one of the HT's came over (my roommates and I were in our pj's and ready for bed--none of us expecting a guest). My roommate Camille tells me that HT is at the door with his roommate from Canada. What in the world??

HT sits down with Canadian roommate and proceeds to tell me that he has set in motion what he wants to call, "7 Dates in 7 Days" for me. (enter genuine shocked face) I had no clue what to say and felt like I was being punked or something. He goes on to say that he has already lined up 7 guys he knows to take me out. 7 guys, 7 days, 7 dates. All I had to do was say yes??? Of course I had to say yes. I had literally asked for it! (be careful what you ask for you just might get it!)

So starting tomorrow night I will begin my 7 dates in 7 days saga. I will be posting pictures and date info. Wish me luck as this could be hazardous to my health!

One Step At A Time

We all have a list of things we wish we didn't do, that we wish we did more, and so forth. I am slowly and systematically working on my list. Once I graduated from grad school I knew it was long overdue that I start getting into shape and losing some weight. So I joined my local Y and I am proud to say that I go on a regular basis (I can always do better).

The next thing that has been haunting me is my consumption of Diet Coke/Diet Pepsi. I have truly enjoyed them as my little splurge. I have known I needed to quit them for a long time but have lacked the will power. Last week I made the decision, the dye has been cast, I burned the ships, and I did it! I quit soda!

It has been one week free of any kind of soda and I know this is a good decision. Now for the next item on the list....

Modern Family Home Evening

This was how we had Family Home Evening tonight! I am just amazing at modern technology! Chelsea & Mike (Balitimore), Dani & Kevin (CA), Mom, Dad, Clay, & Camryn (CA), Ali (UT), Kati (San Diego), and Kylee (AZ). Thanks Oovo!

Lamb of God

Last night I went to a majestic concert of Rob Gardner's newest sacred work called, "Lamb of God" and I left changed! the "Lamb of God" is about the last week of Christ's life and His resurrection! If you get a chance to see this production don't miss it! If you want to hear the music you can find it at Spire Music.

One of my favorite songs of the night is called, "Sometime We'll Understand" and here are some lyrics that spoke to heart:

"Not now, but in the coming years,
It may not be when we demand,
We’ll read the meaning of our tears,
And there, sometime, we’ll understand

Why what we long for most of all
Eludes our open, pleading hand;
Why ever silence meets our call
Somewhere, sometime, we’ll understand.

So trust in God through all thy days;
Fear not, for He doth hold thy hand;
Though dark thy way, still sing and praise,
Sometime, sometime we’ll understand.

Sometime we’ll fall on bended knee,
And feel there, graven on His hand;
Sometime with tearless eyes we’ll see
What, here, we could not understand."

Love Story

Please watch this video. I love this story about love that is real and alive!

"No, I am not pregnant, I'm just fat!"

In the past few weeks at work I have been asked by 3 different clients (kids) if I am pregnant! Now I know I need to consider the sources, the fact that I was wearing a babydoll type shirt all 3 times, the fact that 4 women who work with me have recently had babies, 2 women just left of maternity leave, and the fact that I recently lost 10 lbs into consideration but really!!!

Lessons only Time Can Teach

Today was a typical morning at work. There were kids climbing fences to AWOL, kids cutting their arms b/c they don't know how to deal with their emotions, and kids getting ready for school dressing in their uniforms.

Today was a typical day at work. I am currently a TA for 11 students. These kids range in ages from 11-14 with varying degrees of grade levels. They all have behavior and emotional issues which make learning in their classroom that much more difficult. They have a great teacher who really does his best to keep them motivated, working, and organized.

Today I was just doing my thing but then I started to feel stressed and tired and some familiar feeling was nagging at me and I couldn't quite figure it out. There was this boy in the class who was just getting on everyone's nerves and he had already been kicked out of the classroom once for a "time-away" (3 min. outside the classroom door). This kid has so much energy he rocks back and forth during the day to calm himself down. He is an avid reader and loves to share random facts all throughout the day. It wasn't until the end of the school day that I realized what that familiar feeling that was eating up my stomach and causing me a headache.

It was the same feeling I used to feel with my brother Grant! I used to get easily frustrated with him and know that he couldn't help how he was reacting but I wished he could just "get it". I was a little shocked at the realization. This boy wasn't just some kid I come to work with every day. He is someone I love and get excited for and get sad about and so forth. I even get frustrated at him for not "getting it".

I would give anything to be able to do what I did today with my student with my little brother. I told my teacher that I needed a few minutes. I went into the staff lounge, I got a drink of water, I relaxed, calmed down, and said a quick prayer. Then I went back to class and helped him with the same math problem we had gone over multiple times. I smiled, he worked hard, and in the end he felt successful! I wish I had known better back then...

Today was a typical day except that today I miss my brother a lot!

Alternative Dating Styles

Often, being that I'm single and hang around single people, we get talking about dating, the complications, the drama, the "game" and all that jazz. I was talking to some friends and we were sharing our worst date scenarios. We were laughing and remembering... and then someone said something that struck a cord with me. It was something about what if we took looks off table completely when deciding who to date. (Now don't get me wrong I'm a firm believer in attraction and the importance it plays in a relationships). Interesting to think about right? So if looks were off the table what would you base your initial attraction on?

I don't know but it seems to me that people who aren't gorgeous or highly sought after for their beauty seem to rely on their resume or things they have done with their life. They start with what they are doing currently in their jobs or school etc. Then they share things like where they've traveled, things they've accomplished, their future plans etc.

Some people rely heavily on the "role" they play in a social setting such as, "the funny one", the "social butterfly", the "connector", the "I'll host a party at my place" or so forth. I wonder how these people would interact differently if all of a sudden they weren't allowed to fall back on their "role(s)"?

Then there's all sort of people who fall in between the "beautifuls" and the "brainiacs".

Sometimes I just wonder how things would be different in dating if beauty wasn't such a focus? I don't know that things would change much or that dating would be any better. Maybe it would just be different with an emphasis elsewhere. What do you think?